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<<Why I am focused on village-building right now>> [Thread]
We want to follow through on our ambitions while raising kids well. Most of us are ignoring how impossible this is amidst modernity.
We want to follow through on our ambitions while raising kids well. Most of us are ignoring how impossible this is amidst modernity.
2/ By default, you’ll be building a nuclear family. Labor falls solely on you and one other inexperienced parent.
This is so hard as to be nearly impossible for ppl who want to accomplish real things in the world.
This is so hard as to be nearly impossible for ppl who want to accomplish real things in the world.
3/ Have big worldly goals & starting a nuclear family? You can either choose kids or choose work
If you choose kids, you’re setting yourself up for burnout as your work suffers
If you choose work, you’re setting your kids up for neglect as your care for them suffers
If you choose kids, you’re setting yourself up for burnout as your work suffers
If you choose work, you’re setting your kids up for neglect as your care for them suffers
4/ Some solve work/child balance by finding & marrying a rare stay-at-home parent. But there’s no backup plan for when said parent gets sick, dies (knock on wood), gets in a fight with your kid, divorces you, etc.
There’s also no backup plan if you lose your income.
There’s also no backup plan if you lose your income.
5/ FYI: Nuclear families are really weird historically speaking. There is an alternative that solves work/child balance which has been the default since the dawn of apes: village-rearing.
6/ Before the strange 21st century rise of nuclear families, childrearing was typically distributed – across grandparents, aunts & uncles, “aunts & uncles,” and neighbors.
7/ By distributing the labor of childrearing amongst people who have a stake in your child, village-rearing makes it possible to achieve work/child balance. https://twitter.com/TylerAlterman/status/1334864500739158016?s=20
8/ If you
(a) have big worldly goals and
(b) a working partner,
then some kind of communal childrearing is your only option…unless you’d like to outsource the task to people who have no long-term stake in your child’s development (baby-sitters, daycare).
(a) have big worldly goals and
(b) a working partner,
then some kind of communal childrearing is your only option…unless you’d like to outsource the task to people who have no long-term stake in your child’s development (baby-sitters, daycare).
9/ Today village-rearing isn’t available for most. It was destroyed by a variety of factors:
• Integration of small towns into larger ones
• Globalized markets that encourage ppl to uproot for work
• A trend toward exiling old ppl to homes instead of making them co-parents
• Integration of small towns into larger ones
• Globalized markets that encourage ppl to uproot for work
• A trend toward exiling old ppl to homes instead of making them co-parents
10/ Relegating the old to old ppl communities is a huge waste of human capital: https://twitter.com/TylerAlterman/status/1354396255548551172?s=20
11/ If you want to rear kids in a village, your best bet might be to band together with like-minded friends/family and make your own.
(Not sure what the alternatives are. Surviving communes from the 1960s? Small rural towns? These are hard to integrate into.)
(Not sure what the alternatives are. Surviving communes from the 1960s? Small rural towns? These are hard to integrate into.)
12/ Starting a village from scratch is quite difficult. But now may be a good time:
* Ppl are displaced due to corona
* Most still have yet to fully resettle
* Ppl are lonely
* Remote work on the rise, so more ppl can move
* Parents are freaking out; rearing rn is too hard
* Ppl are displaced due to corona
* Most still have yet to fully resettle
* Ppl are lonely
* Remote work on the rise, so more ppl can move
* Parents are freaking out; rearing rn is too hard
13/ There is a lot of latent desire for village-building at the moment in these corners. It may be your job to catalyze it.
(How to start? You can send your people this thread to kick off the conversation.)
(How to start? You can send your people this thread to kick off the conversation.)
14/ This is all very intellectual in tone. My actual motivation to start a village comes from vividly imagining how amazing my life would be if I raised kids around the people I love amidst a place we build ourselves
