Sure thing.

For folks who have better things to do than follow the moneysquiggles all day (which I hope is most of you), here's a thread. https://twitter.com/Johnmcurtis/status/1354442401482493954

Once upon a time, in the before time, there was something called a business.

Life happened in a village with like 100 other people, and "business" was whatever we were nerdy about. We were so nerdy, we'd even change our last name to that. This nerd's last name is probably Smith.

Over time, our villages got way bigger. Fewer people were nerdy about whatever their last name was, and more of them just worked for some guy who was nerdy.

With bigger cities, it was harder to start a good business, b/c you probably weren't the best at whatever you did.

Because of the big towns, starting a business got harder.

You'd need to borrow money to get started. That's called debt.

Or you'd need to promise someone a share of whatever you build (if it works out), in exchange for them giving you money now. That's called stock.

At first people would just do the debt thing or the stock thing with their friends who had money. That's called private equity.

But as cities got bigger, we had fewer friends.

So to start a business, we needed to do the "plz help" thing with strangers.

So eventually someone invented a debt store called a "bank."

And an "I'll give you a share of this thing I build" store, called the stock market.

The stock market is like a butcher shop where you can buy part of someone else's business without having to do anything.

You generally can't buy a specific piece, like "12 shares of the HR Department of McDonald's."

You just buy a slice of the whole business at once.

So it's less like a butcher and more like business sausage.

As time went on, fewer people were butchers, and more people worked at debt stores and business sausage stores.

Some people's whole job was to try to buy unpopular business sausage and wait until it became popular and then sell it for more, which almost usually worked.

Before long the system got pretty abstract.

People started inventing really weird types of abstract sausage that aren't even sausage of a real business yet.

They invented "sausage in the future," which is a way of buying part of a business at some specific time in the future.

They even invented "optional sausage," which is where you buy the *rights* to buy 100 sausages worth of someone's business before March 17th at a price of $12.50 per sausage, and you pay $200 for the right to do that optional thing before that time, whether or not you use it.

Now, those optional sausages aren't "things." They're not sitting around in a pile.

So the people who sell them to you don't actually have them.

Those people are something called a "market maker."

They wait around at an empty booth full of nothing, until someone wants to buy something insane that isn't real, like optional sausage.

Someone says "I want to buy the rights to buy 100 sausages worth of Microsoft before June at $200 per sausage."

And the market maker goes "k."

The marker maker goes "That'll be (checks notes, but notes are blank) $6.00 per optional sausage."

The person goes "k" and gets a piece of paper with the market maker's promise to do that thing on it.

Now, what market makers learned pretty quickly is that business sausage isn't like betting on a horse.

ANYTHING can happen with business sausage prices.

Business sausage will fucking kill you.

So if the market maker doesn't have 100 sausages of Microsoft yet, and then the price of Microsoft goes to $5000 per sausage before June, but they already promised some shmuck they'd sell them 100 of those for $200 each, they're dead.

Because they started with an empty booth. They don't have shit. All they have is the $600 from selling the 100 imaginary optional sausages to that guy.

So to prevent being killed if the price goes too high before June, they have to run out and BUY 100 Microsoft sausages.

That worked pretty well for awhile.

Then eventually, a bunch of people who steal for a living locked everyone inside, made business illegal, mailed everyone money.

The only store that was still open was the business sausage store.

After about a year of no stores except business sausage, society had basically collapsed and everyone who used to be a productive member of society was more or less in full clown makeup dancing down the stairs to that Garry Glitter song.

That's when a bunch of degenerates on Reddit realized they could bankrupt hedge funds by YOLOing all their savings into business sausage.

Remember how the market makers have to rush out and buy whatever sausages you just bought "optional sausage" rights on.

Well it turns out a bunch of nobles and lords (who got money via a type of business called "corruption" and "being friends with the king") bet on the sausage.

There are businesses for rich people called "hedge funds," which is like a condom that doesn't actually have to protect anything and sometimes makes it more dangerous.

Turns out some of those rich people business had made MASSIVE bets against certain types of business sausage.

One such sausage was called GameStop. Reddit had an emotional connection to GameStop because they bought Final Fantasy 7 there back in high school. Then someone learned the nobles had built up YUGE bets that GameStop sausage price would go down.

So long story short, Reddit in full clown makeup YOLO'ed their life savings into the most far fetched optional sausage on Gamestop, forcing market makers to run out and buy MASSIVE amounts of it, driving up the price and bankrupting the nobles betting against it.

That was Monday.

Since then, some other Nobles gave the fucked Nobles a few more billions worth of money so their rich friends don't all start panicking and selling sausage out of fear.

So Reddit YOLO'ed harder.

That was Tuesday.

The Nobles started saying this is dangerous and irresponsible and must be stopped, as they always do when the peasants do things for an hour that they do every day, like "manipulating the market" or "standing in the capitol building."

Now it's Wednesday, and Reddit it YOLOing harder than ever with their little pitchforks against the Nobles with their bitchforks.

So hard that the normies are starting to notice, and some are getting involved.

So I bought a little AMC as a donation, expecting to lose it all but hoping it would help some brave McDonalds-job berserker in the Battle of Bankrupt Movie Theater, because the Battle of Bankrupt Video Game Store had already basically been won.

Instead of losing it, it tripled.

So for anyone who doesn't usually dabble in markets, here's a quick summary:

1. The peasants are fighting the nobles and it's beautiful.

2. If you feel joining the peasants, see wallstreetbets on reddit.

3. DO NOT put more into this than you're willing to lose. (Same as war.)

Whatever you do, be clear that this isn't "investing."

At this point it's not even gambling.

It's just war.

With memes and McDonald's salaries.

Don't bet your rent on it.

But if you're rich, feel free to grab a pitchfork and go stand with the peasants.

They could use some help.

Before this week, they were making memes like this.

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/l1u036/wsb_gets_emotional_on_mad_money/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Ok, end of thread.