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Tomorrow I have my annual head MRI to see if the mass in there has grown, which means it's also the anniversary of when I decided to take a huge step back from the internet.
Before, I’d reasoned with myself that social media was like a normal conversation held with friends in a public train station.
You could be genuine, but you also had to be mindful that anything you said might be heard out of context by folks who didn’t know anything about you.
You could be genuine, but you also had to be mindful that anything you said might be heard out of context by folks who didn’t know anything about you.
Also you just had to be prepared for occasional randos to cat call from across the track.
I figured normal social rules still generally applied. Humans were humans.
I figured normal social rules still generally applied. Humans were humans.
Last year, after I was sick for a very long time, I got a head MRI, and hey found a mass. I tweeted about it during the long wait to find out how bad it was.
I got a pile of replies. Most were sympathy or worry. Some—the best— were dark humor or personal experience. Human.
I got a pile of replies. Most were sympathy or worry. Some—the best— were dark humor or personal experience. Human.
Dozens of other replies came in that day (and in the days after, and the weeks after, and the months after) all over my social media, and these replies said they hoped it was fatal. And painful. Replies from folks with usernames named after my characters.
Huh.
Huh.
I thought: this is not like a normal conversation at all.
Nothing about normal in-person interactions gives us any tools to deal with a conversation like this, because this isn't actually a conversation. This is something else.
Nothing about normal in-person interactions gives us any tools to deal with a conversation like this, because this isn't actually a conversation. This is something else.
Obviously there are various tools to report, block, limit these interactions on social media, but as the continued articles on harassment show, the internet still struggles.
One thing is clear: it will never be a 1-to-1 to in-person interaction.
One thing is clear: it will never be a 1-to-1 to in-person interaction.
I’ve seen some folks say that culturally we'll eventually learn to filter out the noise.
Ok.
Well, other people can do that.
I don't want to learn to filter it out.
Ok.
Well, other people can do that.
I don't want to learn to filter it out.
I don’t want to become less human in order to survive an internet that is also becoming less human.
So I took a step back. This year, I gave the internet less than ever before— but I also asked the internet for less than ever before. It was right before lockdown happened, and it was one of the best choices I’ve ever made.
This year I've had fewer exchanges with people than ever before, but they've all been very, very human.
And it feels great.
Best head examination I ever did.
/fin
And it feels great.
Best head examination I ever did.
/fin
