Read on Twitter
I see a viral tweet about disability and relationships so.
Oops it’s time for a thread.
The implication that a disabled or chronically ill partner is a burden is toxic ableism in action.
Oops it’s time for a thread.
The implication that a disabled or chronically ill partner is a burden is toxic ableism in action.
Can we disabled people be grateful for the support of our partners? Sure!
But, uh. Non-disabled people should also be happy about that.
Relationships are built on mutual support, care, and aid.
But, uh. Non-disabled people should also be happy about that.
Relationships are built on mutual support, care, and aid.
I’m no less committed, or capable of putting in the work with my partner because I’m Deafblind.
I’m not a burden.
That implication is why people think it’s difficult to date disabled people.
I’m not a burden.
That implication is why people think it’s difficult to date disabled people.
But it’s ESPECIALLY toxic when this call is coming from inside the community.
The pernicious internalized ableism spoken to millions reinforces what non-disabled people already believe.
The pernicious internalized ableism spoken to millions reinforces what non-disabled people already believe.
So yeah, praise your partner. Say you love them (mine is wonderful and supportive!)
But don’t turn it into a “they’re great for tolerating my troubles” party because I will subtweet the hell out of you.
But don’t turn it into a “they’re great for tolerating my troubles” party because I will subtweet the hell out of you.
Oh look, I'm back. I slept on it and I have more to say.
This is what I'm referring to: https://twitter.com/bsw5020/status/1354244107888156674?s=21
This is what I'm referring to: https://twitter.com/bsw5020/status/1354244107888156674?s=21
Look. My partner doesn't have to dress me or shower me, but I know people whose partners do.
And the disabled people in those relationships? They pull their weight in other ways.
And the disabled people in those relationships? They pull their weight in other ways.
Plus! And this is REALLY IMPORTANT:
If you've decided to be with someone forever within the traditional bounds of marriage: YOU DON'T HAVE ANYBODY ELSE. AND IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE. You signed up for this. No cookies!
If you've decided to be with someone forever within the traditional bounds of marriage: YOU DON'T HAVE ANYBODY ELSE. AND IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE. You signed up for this. No cookies!
Plus, we disabled people in relationships with other disabled people?
Guess what.
That happens tooooooo. And we also have relationships with give and take. Because it's not a burden to love someone. Just. No.
Guess what.
That happens tooooooo. And we also have relationships with give and take. Because it's not a burden to love someone. Just. No.
If you don't see the harm well... Let's just say that every time I've been on dating websites people start by asking how disabled I am. I feel the implication of burden in those messages, the assumption that I am not worth the work.
There's not a lot of work. There are certainly adjustments. Like "Oh you can't see the stairs maybe I should slow down".
So anyway. I'm going to go drink my tea and do my job.
Date disabled people. We're awesome.
So anyway. I'm going to go drink my tea and do my job.
Date disabled people. We're awesome.
