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1 My daughters are pre-teens, two of them especially. I’m consistently amazed how many of the lessons they end up learning apply equally well to adulthood. Adolescence is such legit practice for being a grown-up. Thread >>
2 Scenario 1: “My friends are all being mean to/talking bad about [OTHER KID/TEACHER/ETC]. I don’t agree with them, but I’m afraid they’ll think I’m not cool if I say so.”
3 Observation: This happens all the time among adults. In the workplace (toxic pockets of determined negativity!), among friend groups (mean-spirited gossiping!), everywhere.
It takes courage and self-respect to stand up to mean-spirited chatter, as a teen and as an adult.
It takes courage and self-respect to stand up to mean-spirited chatter, as a teen and as an adult.
4 Scenario #2: “My teacher/parent/older kid made a rule that I don’t agree with and I think it’s going to make everything worse. But it’s easier for me not to say anything about it.”
5 Observation: Kids are in power dynamic situations all the time. Learning to respectfully speak truth to power from a young age gives both skills and confidence for doing so as an adult.
6 Scenario #3: “I did that one mean thing, but I’m not a mean person.” Or, “Well, I only did that mean thing because THEY did it to me first.”
7 Observation: As a teen or as an adult, how you act is who you are. There’s literally no difference from the kind of person you are, and the way you treat people. If you don’t like a behavior, don’t be that way.
8 Scenario #4: “Everyone else is doing [ACTIVITY]. I’m not really into it, but I have to go along with the group.”
9 Observation: Peer pressure is universal — kids, teens, adults, everyone. Having the confidence to make a different choice, when a different choice is right for you, is hard (and worth it).
10 Scenario #5: “[FRIEND] hurt my feelings, but I don’t want to tell them that.”
11 Observation: Getting beyond accusing someone (“You intentionally left me out”) and expressing one’s own feelings (“When you didn’t pick me, I felt left out”) comes up over and over again in adult relationships. Imagine if we’d all learned it as teens!
12 Those are just the scenarios that have come up in the last week. Every week has zillions of these.
Every time my kids bring this stuff up, I end up reflecting how powerful it would be if we got confident having the hard social conversations BEFORE we reach adulthood.
Every time my kids bring this stuff up, I end up reflecting how powerful it would be if we got confident having the hard social conversations BEFORE we reach adulthood.
