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TW - Toxic Relationships
#MidnightRamblings
Relationships are hard work. Fights are normal and rough patches are part of the course. But for the most part, a good relationship makes you feel secure, happy, cared for, respected, and free to be yourself.
#MidnightRamblings
Relationships are hard work. Fights are normal and rough patches are part of the course. But for the most part, a good relationship makes you feel secure, happy, cared for, respected, and free to be yourself.
On the other side of the coin there are the toxic relationships that make you feel drained and distraught because negative moments outweigh and outnumber the positive ones. And these relationships don’t have to be romantic. It can be friendly, familial or even professional.
Types of toxic individuals :
1.Belittler
This type of toxic individual will constantly belittle you. He or she will make fun of you, essentially implying that pretty much anything you say that expresses your ideas, beliefs, or wants is silly or stupid.
1.Belittler
This type of toxic individual will constantly belittle you. He or she will make fun of you, essentially implying that pretty much anything you say that expresses your ideas, beliefs, or wants is silly or stupid.
The will defend their behavior by saying “ I’m just kidding. Can’t you take a joke? "The problem is they are not kidding and what they’re doing is not a joke.
They will often tell you that you’re lucky to have them as a partner, that no other man or woman would really want you
They will often tell you that you’re lucky to have them as a partner, that no other man or woman would really want you
His or her goal is to keep your self esteem as low as possible so that you don’t challenge their absolute control of the relationship.
2. The “Bad Temper” Toxic Partner
“Controlling by intimidation” is a classic behaviour of a toxic partner. Their partners often describe themselves as “walking on egg shells” around them, never quite knowing what will send him or her into a rage.
“Controlling by intimidation” is a classic behaviour of a toxic partner. Their partners often describe themselves as “walking on egg shells” around them, never quite knowing what will send him or her into a rage.
And if you confront a “bad temper” partner about their anger issues, they will almost always blame their temper outburst on you. This constant need for vigilance and inability to know what will trigger an angry outburst wears on both the “victim’s” emotional and physical health.
3. The Guilt-Inducer
A toxic relationship occur not only between two individuals in a romantic relationship, but also between friends or parents and their adult children. Control in these relationships are exercised by inducing guilt in the “victim.”
A toxic relationship occur not only between two individuals in a romantic relationship, but also between friends or parents and their adult children. Control in these relationships are exercised by inducing guilt in the “victim.”
The guilt inducer controls by encouraging you to feel guilty any time you do something he or she doesn’t like. The emotional blackmail, that we are subjected to from our parents is a good example.
4. The Overreactor/Deflector
If you’ve ever tried to tell a significant other that you’re unhappy, hurt, or angry about something they did and somehow find yourself taking care of your partner's unhappiness, hurt, or anger, you’re dealing with an overreactor/deflector.
If you’ve ever tried to tell a significant other that you’re unhappy, hurt, or angry about something they did and somehow find yourself taking care of your partner's unhappiness, hurt, or anger, you’re dealing with an overreactor/deflector.
You find yourself comforting them instead of getting comfort yourself. And, even worse, you feel bad about yourself for being “so selfish” that you brought up something that “upset” the partner so much.
Needless to say, your initial concern, hurt, or irritation gets lost as you remorsefully take care of your partner’s feelings.
5. The Over-Dependent Partner
Odd as it may seem, one method of toxic control is for your partner to be so passive that you have to make most decisions for them. These people want you to make virtually every decision for them, from where to go to dinner to what car to buy.
Odd as it may seem, one method of toxic control is for your partner to be so passive that you have to make most decisions for them. These people want you to make virtually every decision for them, from where to go to dinner to what car to buy.
And thereby making you responsible for the outcome of that decision. And, of course, you’ll know when you’ve made the “wrong” decision by your partner’s passive aggressive behaviour such not talking to you because you chose a movie or restaurant they didn’t enjoy.
6.The User
They, especially at the beginning of a relationship – often seem to be very nice, courteous, and pleasant individuals. And they are, as long as they’re getting everything, they want from you.
They, especially at the beginning of a relationship – often seem to be very nice, courteous, and pleasant individuals. And they are, as long as they’re getting everything, they want from you.
What defines a toxic relationship with a user is its one-way nature and the fact that you will end up never having done enough for them.
A really adept partner will occasionally do some small thing for you, usually something that doesn’t inconvenience or cost them too much.
A really adept partner will occasionally do some small thing for you, usually something that doesn’t inconvenience or cost them too much.
Be warned: They have not given you a gift, they’ve given you an obligation. If you ever balk at doing something for them, or doing things their way, they’ll immediately hold whatever they’ve done over your head and work hard to induce guilt.
7. The Possessive (Paranoid) Toxic Controller
This type of toxic individual is really bad news. Early in your relationship with them you may actually appreciate their “jealousy,” particularly if it isn’t too controlling.
This type of toxic individual is really bad news. Early in your relationship with them you may actually appreciate their “jealousy,” particularly if it isn’t too controlling.
These toxic individuals will become more and more suspicious and controlling as time goes on.They’ll check the odometer in your car to make sure you haven’t gone somewhere you “shouldn’t” they’ll interrogate you if you have to stay late at work, they will,make your life miserable
Your efforts to reassure the possessive partner about your fidelity and commitment to them will be in vain. If you stay in a relationship with such an individual you will cease to really have a life of your own.
If any of these sound familiar, it’s time to take action .Toxic relationships which begin with emotional abuse can quickly escalate into physical abuse.
If your partner is pushing, slapping, or hitting you, it’s a clear sign that the relationship has become dangerous. If you feel that you’re in physical danger, you may need to involve the authorities.
Love and happiness don’t always go together. The world would be so much better if they did, but it just doesn’t happen like that. It’s important to make sacrifices in relationships but your happiness, self-esteem and self-respect should always be on the list – always.
When you are with someone who suffocates those precious parts of you, try to get out of the relationship, because you owe them nothing, you owe yourself everything.
You deserve to thrive and to feel safe, and you deserve to be happy.
You deserve to thrive and to feel safe, and you deserve to be happy.
