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Submissives: you are ALWAYS allowed:
- to state your boundaries & limits, & to have them respected
- to express your preferences
- to ask your dominant/top/etc questions
- to give feedback
If your dominant/top/sir/lord high doodah etc won't accept this, *get out or seek help*
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- to state your boundaries & limits, & to have them respected
- to express your preferences
- to ask your dominant/top/etc questions
- to give feedback
If your dominant/top/sir/lord high doodah etc won't accept this, *get out or seek help*
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Communication is essential for healthy kink. This applies to all types of D/s dynamic.
Eg, if someone says "you don't get to give feedback in a 24/7 TPE", they're wrong!
Or if someone says, "you don't get to ask questions in DD/lg", they're wrong!
You can *always* speak out!
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Eg, if someone says "you don't get to give feedback in a 24/7 TPE", they're wrong!
Or if someone says, "you don't get to ask questions in DD/lg", they're wrong!
You can *always* speak out!
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D/s dynamics can have *negotiated & consensual* protocols for feedback & questions but the opportunity to give feedback/ ask questions must be always there.
And protocol can ALWAYS be broken if matters are serious or there's an emergency.
Open communication is essential!
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And protocol can ALWAYS be broken if matters are serious or there's an emergency.
Open communication is essential!
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To those who say "a true dynamic never breaks protocols", ok, imagine the following scenario:
-dom/me orders sub not to move at all unless specifically ordered to do so
-dom/me then trips on a banana skin & is knocked unconscious
-sub sensibly breaks protocol & helps
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-dom/me orders sub not to move at all unless specifically ordered to do so
-dom/me then trips on a banana skin & is knocked unconscious
-sub sensibly breaks protocol & helps
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There will *always* be communication & other needs that are more important than the requirements of protocol (whether they relate to a banana skin or something that's much less of a comedy stereotype)
D/s dynamics are wonderful but they also have to be practical!
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)D/s dynamics are wonderful but they also have to be practical!
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Whether at the start of a relationship or during one, if someone doesn't let you:
-express your preferences
-state your boundaries
- give you the opportunity to renegotiate boundaries (i.e. "I don't like that activity anymore)
GET OUT FAST OR GET HELP FROM A TRUSTED FRIEND
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-express your preferences
-state your boundaries
- give you the opportunity to renegotiate boundaries (i.e. "I don't like that activity anymore)
GET OUT FAST OR GET HELP FROM A TRUSTED FRIEND
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Equally, if you've stated your preferences and soft/hard limits, but they are not being respected, get out or get help. Now.
Better safe than sorry.
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Better safe than sorry.
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IMPORTANT, SO PLEASE RT: a dominant/top/caregiver who's unable to accept questions or who ignores complaints may not seem as serious a situation. But actually it is.
Your views as their sub/bottom/little etc. matter. *You matter*
You have a voice and deserve to be listened to.
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Your views as their sub/bottom/little etc. matter. *You matter*
You have a voice and deserve to be listened to.
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A dominant/top/caregiver/ master/ incorporated sir/lord grand high doodah who doesn't care about your voice, your views, your questions & your feedback, *doesn't care that much about you*
It's a major red flag.
You're a person, not a blank slate for someone's D/s fantasies.
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It's a major red flag.
You're a person, not a blank slate for someone's D/s fantasies.
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As an aside: yes, some people *love* the idea of being a blank slate for someone's D/s fantasies.
But acting out such a fantasy still requires discussion, stating limits and having them respected, informed consent, assessment of risk and *good, open, two-way communication*
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But acting out such a fantasy still requires discussion, stating limits and having them respected, informed consent, assessment of risk and *good, open, two-way communication*
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