Sometimes, the biggest obstacle to the Church's mission of evangelization are its theologians themselves.

7th grade CCD teacher: "Here is the Church teaching on the sanctity of life. Now, let me explain it."

Big Brained Recent Theology PhD: "Well actually, let me explain to you why the Church teaching against abortion is misogynistic & oppressive to marginalized communities"

High school campus minister: "So instead of New Age stuff, let me introduce you to Eucharistic adoration"

Big Brained Recent Theology PhD: "Actually, here's how New Age practices can make you a better Catholic than Eucharistic adoration could ever!"

3rd grade Catholic school teacher: "God is a Trinity, and this is a mystery we hold by faith."

Big Brained Recent Theology PhD: "Actually, the Trinity was created as dogma for political reasons & was just an expression of the emperor's desire to unify the Roman Empire."

Parish priest: "Here is the beauty of the teaching on marriage & sexuality in Humane Vitae—"

Big Brained Recent Theology PhD: *screeches* "It's not binding on Catholics because the teaching hasn't been *received* by all the baptized!!!!"

Missionary in a foreign land: "Let me introduce you to the God of Jesus Christ & share with you the Good News!"

Big Brained Recent Theology PhD: "Actually *all* religions have the seeds of truth in them so leave them alone you imperialistic, exclusionary colonizer!"