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I'm quoting this because mine will need way more than one set of characters... buckle up kids, let me tell you about The Night Heckling Went Wrong.... https://twitter.com/sophiearumble/status/1353806272148230145
In was 1998, I'd dropped out of uni, I was living with my grandparents and I'd just been given my first proper job at the very respectable IFA service centre at The Prudential.
I was 2 weeks in to my training when I was told the ENTIRE company would be off site for the annual
I was 2 weeks in to my training when I was told the ENTIRE company would be off site for the annual
conference. There was going to a meal and free bar. Mates, a FREE bar and an ex student in her 20s is a lethal combo... anyway, I digress.
About 200 people are told on the Friday of the conference to go home early, get ready & to meet at a restaurant in town
About 200 people are told on the Friday of the conference to go home early, get ready & to meet at a restaurant in town
At 7pm I rock up and the only person I know is the woman who has been assigned as my buddy. She gets me a double vodka and orange juice and introduces me to everyone in the team I'm going to be part of. They're all a bit older than me but they seem nice
They're regaling me with tales that this happens every year and that the guy who is the Director for our division is "a bit of a bloke" and tells his team he likes "crowd participation"...
You're right reader, this story is going *exactly* where you think it is
You're right reader, this story is going *exactly* where you think it is
The food is really good but the drinks are flowing. At the time I was into pints, I kept away from spirits, but my new best friend Imogen had given me so much vodka I'd lost track. Our table is loud & we're all laughing & getting to know each other when I hear a mic turn on
and our Director gets up to present the Awards part of the night. First up is one of the team managers. Theres jeering and whooping and the winner dance walks up to collect his little gold cup. I laugh that people in finance seem to be way less stuffy than I imagined...
The awards carry on, my cheeks hurt from laughing but I am pissed out of my brain. Its not good.
The Director is handed a huge bunch of flowers by the woman I'm reliably informed is HR, and he asks for his long serving PA to come on stage.
The Director is handed a huge bunch of flowers by the woman I'm reliably informed is HR, and he asks for his long serving PA to come on stage.
He's mid speech about her commitment, her dedication, & how she's single handedly organised him for over 15yrs and it's a beautiful moment.... but just as she walked on stage a very loud voice boomed from the back of the room "ITS BECAUSE HES SHAGGING HER"
Yep.
The culprit?
Yep.
The culprit?
I laughed so hard but when I looked to see why my table hadn't joined in, they just stared. Mortified.
The entire room fell silent because little did I know that they did not at all get along. Aside from being paid to be his PA, they had almost ZERO contact outside of work.
The entire room fell silent because little did I know that they did not at all get along. Aside from being paid to be his PA, they had almost ZERO contact outside of work.
The night for me ended there. I was shuffled into a cab and taken home.
I didn't go to work on the Monday because I was in hospital having my wisdom teeth out and was off work for 2 weeks. When I went back to the office people were STILL talking about it and what made it worse is the company was convinced I'd been SACKED !
The moral of the story is don't be a dick, don't let people you don't need lead you astray and stay the fuck away from the free bar
