Presidents aren't dictators, folks. Even with the expanded power of executive orders.

The President can't force the states to do anything. He doesn't control legislation. He can't do anything but run the executive branch.

He *really* can't overturn legislation states pass.
The courts can.

The basic idea, federally, is that we have Congress, which makes laws; the judiciary, which interprets laws; and the executive, which administers shit in accordance with those laws.

Federal laws can override state laws in some cases.
For the most part, when they do, it's to put some sort of a floor on the race to the bottom. That's why there's a federal minimum wage (inadequate though it is), the civil rights act, voting rights act, etc.

Most stuff, states decide for themselves.
That's why we can't really win a lot of trans rights battles federally. Like birth certificates - every state does them however they do them, and the federal government doesn't control that. To change how they do them would mean taking federal control.
In effect, if we want top-down change, we need to use Title IX or pass the Equality Act - federal anti-discrimination protections - and then go through the courts to prove that the current implementation of the law runs counter to that federal legislation.
That's how we won in Windsor and Obergefell.

Lawrence v Texas (which made it legal for us to have sex in all 50 states, and was decided in 2003) was actually decided on a non-interference basis - that the state can't interfere with people's lives without a good reason.
(I was 25 in 2003. Go ahead and guess if I'd committed a felony by then, if you want.)

So anyway - I get it. You want the big stuff fixed. So do I. But our weird country means that *most* of it we either have to address through statute one state at a time...
...or go through the courts, which takes ages, and someone has to have standing to bring the case. Which generally mean someone has to be harmed.

The president can do a fair amount via leadership and requests to his caucus. But he can't sign us into equality by himself.
I know it's complicated and I know it's frustrating. It's just also the reality we're living in, and I'm seeing an awful lot of takes without any understanding of US civics behind them.
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