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Birds aren’t real. They’re surveillance drones. Covid was made up in order to get everyone to stay at home while government officials changed the batteries in the birds. #Birdwatch
There was never such a thing as whales, either. The Russians needed a way to disguise their submarines, and the ocean was already full of weird shit, so they all had a fifth of vodka and said “so what about that giant fish from the Bible?” #Birdwatch
Alex Jones was actually right. They really are turning the fricking frogs gay. #Birdwatch
QAnon is really just George W. Bush and he’s trying to tell you where his hidden stash of Hot Wheels cars is. #Birdwatch
There are no Lizard People, but the basal ganglia part of the brain is very well-developed in democrat politicians. #Birdwatch
Bears really can smell menstrual blood, but they’re too busy growing beets and watching Battlestar Galactica to do anything about it. #Birdwatch
