Considering #MeToo and that everyone always wants to know who the dodgy ones are.
Open your eyes.
Listen.
Trust and believe.
Bc if these things are said out loud, often lawyers letters ensue.
And so the knowledge lives in the shadows.
Until it doesn't.

I went to school with Grant Hannis - the man convicted of sexually assaulted an elderly woman.
He was always a creep.
And there were always signs.
I know most people who knew him at the same time gave him the benefit of the doubt.

I’m saying this not to accuse anyone of letting it slide, but because cis men ask what you look for. How do you know if one of your mates has damaging attitudes to women? (Because that’s why he did what he did.

Not just because he’s a sick lascivious fucker, but because he knew he’d get away with it. She was a woman, and she was elderly. He had power.)
Think about how lechy he was in our youth.
I called him out then, but it was “harmless”.
It’s never harmless.

It’s a warning.

I once told a well known older man about Richie Hardcore.
This guys a “nice” guy.
And he didn't believe me.
Our friendship ended bc of that.

Young women told me about Paul Litterick. I'd always known his truth, we all avoided him, we cis women. Nobody, no cis man, ever called him out.
These are just two examples.
I'm sick of it.

Don't ask how you can tell. They're one of you. You're just ignoring your instincts, laughing shit off, feeling uncomfortable and if YOU won't deal with your mates, don't fucking expect us to.
You already know who they are.
Now fucking DEAL WITH IT.