You know what’s wild?

I looked around my office space and went “Wow, I really haven’t been okay for awhile.”

It’s a mess. I’m a mess.

And that’s *okay*.

I get I’m going to have episodes that last for awhile because of the insurmountable anxiety that wells up. Reasoning? I’m still getting used to managing my anxiety now because it’s different being on meds.

Beforehand it was roller coaster whip and turn and spiral all the damn time. Now it’s “normal” as normal can be but I don’t know how to manage the manageable. It then becomes unmanageable. I’m still learning for damn sure.

But I definitely need to spend more time on me. I’ve always taken time off and only gamed, worked on projects, streamed, etc. but I’ve lost me in there somewhere. I’d like to find me again and I’m definitely going to do something about it.

As terrified as I am I’m going to take some time off again, but this time it’s for me. I’m redoing my space. I’m making it a place I want to be. I spend 12-14 hours here between stream and IRL work. I need to like being in here.

Sorry for the long rant but normalizing time off for content creators needs to be done. Admitting you’re not okay should be normal. Asking for help should be normal (and I’m bad at it). And y’all? Check in on those friends who check in on you. Even if they seem okay.