oh shit. i'm at a doctors appointment, and i legit forgot to take the sugar glider out of my sports bra. let's hope she stays asleep!!!

urology appt, so the clothes stay on. but if he tries to listen to my chest, there's a 60% chance he wakes her up and she crabs and scares the shit out of him

then i have to explain why i have a squirrel in my underwear

unless i act like i am surprised too...

the only cleavage pic you’ll ever get from me. this isn’t a joke. i’m so nervous rn

i hear him and the nurse talking outside the door. my hands are so sweaty. omg

i've got my sweater buttoned up to my chin. i'm sweaty as fuck. and i swear my hands are shaking. he's gonna think i'm on drugs

shit he said my name. coming in now fuck

false alarm. they had me pee in a cup. she’s still asleep. my heart is pounding. this is so dumb

he expressly said no extra visitors when i asked if my husband could come. he’s gonna be so mad

walking in now *sign of the cross*

holy shit the little fugitive made it through the appointment undetected! back in the car where it’s ok to have squirrels. you know that feeling of relief where your muscles feel like jelly? me rn

let this be a lesson to you all that you never know who might be packing small animals in their underwear when you're out

i feel like a master criminal now. do criminals have a resume or something to highlight their most impressive feats?

apparently y'all don't have squirrels in your underwear and may find me weird. young sugar gliders need to bond with people. they sleep during the day, so people usually put them in their pockets or bra so they acclimate to you. Polly Wog is a lil baby https://bit.ly/3a4GBbm