Just found out one of my best friends from my deployment killed himself a few weeks ago.

I'm kinda numb. My platoon has lost more people to suicide than we did to combat.

I feel like shit bc I didn't keep in contact with him bc I was going thru my own shit and I know he tried to reach out to me years ago, but since I'm hardly on Facebook I never did get in touch with him. I figured I had time.

Last I heard about him he was getting married in Oct.

He was 34.

I gotta reconnect with the guys I served with. I don't want this to keep happening. I don't even know how many it's been. 7 or 8 since I got out in 2013. Guys from basic, guys I knew in passing thru the company. Guys in my platoon.

It's too much.

I know I'm in no position to give advice, but check in with people you know (whether military or not) if you think they may be struggling.

If you're struggling. Please don't do anything sudden. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 

This was me and Matt.

(I'm the one with the Ray Charles glasses)

He was a really good guy. He was like a punk kid, but he was smar. He liked to read. He used to write rap songs on tower guard and talk about...anything. He just liked to talk. Irish tough guy. Shamrock tattoo.

We connected bc we were both from Long Island. I remember when i got to my unit I expected it to be full of cornfed Midwesterners or southerners and we had like 4, guys from Long Island in addition to me.

He lived the closest to where I grew up so we had a lot of familiarity.

Even though I was the FNG he never did the usual haze the NFG shit with me. Probably bc we were both New Yorkers and I was older than him and we both smoked and could have in-depth discussions he couldn't have with other folks.

I'm really gonna miss him.