Sigh. It drags on and on. I'm working every day now, mostly out of boredom. Work is sporadic too, 4 hours making one plot, then jumping elsewhere. Baseline negative affect is so high, and motivation so low, it's incredibly difficult to focus. Big picture feels elusive.

Lately I wonder if all this isolation is changing me. The brain fog, the poor concentration, and the lackluster mood can all be attributed to the monotony, loneliness, and need for novelty. But who will I be when this is all over?

Bored of the TV, bored of the office, bored of zoom. Just bored. Feels almost like being hungover, but I'm barely drinking, just a bit on weekends.

Making a talk is difficult. I know what I want to say, and what I need to show, but it feels like such a chore to bring it together. No exciting motivation to get on a plane, meet new people, feel the rush of being on stage. Just talking over slides, then back in my underwear.

I'm sure I'm not alone. My wife feels the same way. We need to take up some excercise. Feels like we are in a super tight, but unrewarding routine. Just keep thinking about the coming vaccines and hoping to go back to the lab.

Anyway, thanks for listening if you made it this far. Just taking it one day at a time right now. Trying not to worry too much, focusing on keeping the lab running well even if I'm running poorly.

Also, I always feel bad complaining because I'm obviously incredibly lucky with a secure job, a great lab, and a long funding horizon. And all of that is great but you know, we're still basically all on house arrest. I'm grateful, but still pretty miserable.

If you are wondering why I keep sharing so much on Twitter... Twitter and Signal are currently the source of 50% of my social interactions, the rest being slack and zoom with the lab.