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13 years ago today, I quit drinking alcohol. It’s surreal; it somehow feels like it’s been both 3 months & 30 years. But it’s an excuse to say some things about substance use & recovery that you can take or leave, but might be helpful to someone out there. 
1/9
1/9
I say it often, but: there’s no one right way to get sober. 12-step programs helped me initially, but they are by no means your only option. If you’re struggling and want help, don’t give up if the first thing you try doesn’t work for you. THE TRYING IS THE IMPORTANT PART. 2/9
Outcomes are not reflective of character. For me, getting sober was more about luck and privilege than strength or fortitude. Yes, it was—and is—hard. But those who attempted this with less conventionally “successful” results are not weaker or less than. 3/9
People have such different life experiences, physiologies, other emotional/mental issues, & *resources* that it’s flatly immoral to judge outcomes thru a limited lens like abstinence. How you evaluate success is personal, & it might change. The trying is the important part. 4/9
There’s no one right way to be sober. Many of my sober friends no longer miss drinking/using. Not me. I miss it all the time. I miss it like I miss my friends who died in an alcohol -related accident when I was 19. With a cold, dull ache that ebbs & flows but never disappears.5/9
Missing something is not the worst thing. Missing is how you remember what you loved & what you lost. I loved drinking, but it would have killed me as surely as it did those boys I loved. It almost did, several times. You can tolerate missing something if it keeps you alive. 6/9
You can give up something if it allows you to keep 1000 other things you love in your life. My alcohol use was always a trade off. Keeping it was always going to mean I lost something else. Friends, boyfriends, my life. 7/9
Ppl active in their addiction are often baffling from the outside. A few yrs ago, I wrote about my last days of drinking in hopes of helping ppl understand what it’s like to have the thing you need to live also be the thing that’s going to kill you. 8/9 https://longreads.com/2018/04/27/chasing-drinks-with-lies-and-lies-with-drinks/
Finally, if you’re struggling, I see you. I’ve been there. I know it’s hard and it hurts but please don’t stop trying.
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SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357); website: https://www.samhsa.gov/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline-
1-800-273-8255
9/9
SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357); website: https://www.samhsa.gov/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline-
1-800-273-8255
