A pattern worth considering:

-Newly-radicalized ppl, many of whom are v young, engage in radical political action for the 1st time & subsequently experience mass police brutality for the 1st time, quickly link up primarily with other newly-radicalized, v young ppl on the basis of this new shared experience

-These newly-radicalized, mostly very young people are, obviously, severely traumatized pretty immediately, proceed to form deep trauma-based bonds with one another

-Quickly use this newly bonded network as their primary social and sexual circles rather than a purely political or action-focused group

-Go on to engage within this network VERY publicly online, place themselves and their friends at the same locations at the same times, are quickly subjected to relationship mapping and subsequent surveillance by LE

-Online interactions and threads begin appearing in court or in interrogation, (friendly, well-intentioned) attempts to expand network online or in on the ground conversations exposes others not previously a part of the network to the same surveillance and relationship mapping

-The traumatized begin to identify themselves only with being traumatized, difficult for the traumatized to ascertain what is the good and necessary fight and what is PTSD, judgement becomes clouded, daily routine is defined by a new stress addiction and hyper-vigilance

-Ideas about personal ambition and legitimacy, sexual and social charisma, trauma, self-esteem, politics, and action become inextricably, sometimes dangerously, jumbled together. Things go wrong, others get hurt, ad infinitum.

Obviously I only know of and am able to recognize this pattern because I am perfect and infallible and not because I have ever unwittingly engaged in it myself before. Never made a mistake before, no sir, especially not this morning or last night or every day of my life.

But if that weren’t that case, and I was speaking from experience, I would know that one can help remedy this pattern by becoming aware of it, by seeing a therapist if possible, with ideology and revolutionary education,

By instituting and sticking to mundane self-maintenance routines, by creating greater space between stimulus and reaction, by creating clearer lines of dilleniatieon between interactions w others about political action and interactions w others about other aspects of life,

not by expecting these areas of one’s life to never intersect with one another, but by using boundaries to make each area safer and more effective.

Struggle can and should be ones entire life, but struggling to win means boring, internal work, too.

Our trauma is not our fault and obviously if the state wishes to subjugate us it will, no matter what we do. There is no reason to deprive ourselves of joy, friendship, and love on its account. It is good to share, it is good to know and be known.

But we can be conscientious about the choices we make, understand that others are often subject to the consequences of our choices, take responsibility, take greater precautions to guard against negative consequences for others from choices we thought we only made for ourselves.