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One of the phrases I hope we can dump in 2021 is “Good Vibes Only”
[A Thread / Rant?]
![One of the phrases I hope we can dump in 2021 is “Good Vibes Only” [A Thread / Rant?]](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Esgxu9wXAAECDnW.jpg "One of the phrases I hope we can dump in 2021 is “Good Vibes Only” [A Thread / Rant?]")
[A Thread / Rant?]
~Good Vibes Only~
This phrase, particularly while in the midst of the grief journey, is absolutely cringe-worthy.
If you’re proclaiming it, it tells me I’m not welcome to show up authentically as myself in your life right now—grief and all—when I need others most.
This phrase, particularly while in the midst of the grief journey, is absolutely cringe-worthy.
If you’re proclaiming it, it tells me I’m not welcome to show up authentically as myself in your life right now—grief and all—when I need others most.
It says put on a happy face and pretend everything’s sunshine and happiness! 
It says “my life is perfect and something must be wrong with yours that it’s not.”
See also: toxic positivity.
It says “my life is perfect and something must be wrong with yours that it’s not.”
See also: toxic positivity.
I’m self-aware and emotionally intelligent enough to know and admit: I’m not always Good Vibes Only.
And guess what? Neither are you.
If you don’t believe me, ask someone who can be honest with you.
And guess what? Neither are you.
If you don’t believe me, ask someone who can be honest with you.
Positivity and optimism (to a fault) are some of my strengths according to Strengths Finder.
But learning that those can’t and won’t always be on display for me was important for my own mental health.
No, I don’t want to be Queen of Doom & Gloom... but I also want to be real.
But learning that those can’t and won’t always be on display for me was important for my own mental health.
No, I don’t want to be Queen of Doom & Gloom... but I also want to be real.
I’ve walked through (and still am walking through) a long season of grief. I know that pain and trials are not exempt from me or you. As a Bible-believing Christ follower, the Bible tells me that too. (John 16:33)
If you haven’t been through pain or trials: it’s inevitable.
If you haven’t been through pain or trials: it’s inevitable.
Now let me be clear that there is a difference between who and what we let into our lives. Discernment and boundaries are necessary and wise.
But living your life with the filter and bar set at Good Vibes Only is simply destructive.
But living your life with the filter and bar set at Good Vibes Only is simply destructive.
May we take into practice Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice [that’s usually the easy part] and mourn with those who mourn.” [the hard part]
Imagine the benefits to everyone’s mental health with a little bit of empathy and allowance for authenticity for each other.
Imagine the benefits to everyone’s mental health with a little bit of empathy and allowance for authenticity for each other.
Admittedly, I’ve learned over the past 3 years from others showing up for me, how I can better show up for others in grief.
I’m not perfect, never will be. But I pray for purpose to my pain, and if that purpose is showing up for someone else who walks a similar road: Praise God.
I’m not perfect, never will be. But I pray for purpose to my pain, and if that purpose is showing up for someone else who walks a similar road: Praise God.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk on grief and toxic positivity. #mentalhealth
