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I’m watching The Football. You, apparently, don’t turn on at the start time (“kick off”) you turn on a bit early to “watch the punditry”. Stay tuned.
Ian Wright’s gilet is absolutely astonishing. It’s a maxi gilet. I love it.
They don’t sing an anthem for this kind of match, apparently. Start the campaign for local anthems, I say. Just one team bellowing “Come On Eileen”. And then the others doing “S Club Party”. Would be tremendous. Missing a trick.
Lots of additional football accessories today. Gloves. Under t shirts. Nice and cosy. I approve.
I just tried to turn the crowd noise off as an experiment and the telly has gone all funny. I’m not popular.
Little bit harsh when they say about a player “they’ve gone 10 games without a goal”. I don’t feel like this is constructive feedback.
Lingering shots of sad goalkeepers is not ok. MY HEART. You did your best son.
Every now and then the camera catches a back-up player in a tracksuit warming up on the sidelines. GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO SHINE, I scream. He’s come all this way and put his outfit on. His mum is probably watching.
Why don’t those sponsorship boards break when they kick a ball at it? If you kicked a ball at my telly it would be ruined.
The manager of the red team is sitting on what looks like a car seat. Not sure what that’s all about.
They’ve got the massive trophy next to that nice Gary Lineker just sitting on a little side table, like where your nan keeps a fancy vase.
In the break from the football match they play clips from completely different football matches.
There’s a little recap of what we’ve just seen set to some sexy music.
I think I’ve got the hang of commentary:
* Surname
* Surname
* Random statistic
* Surname
* “If anyone can do it, he can”
* Surname
* “Causing United some problems”
* Random statistic
* Surname
* “He’s having a good second half”
* Surname
* Surname
* Surname
* Random statistic
* Surname
* “If anyone can do it, he can”
* Surname
* “Causing United some problems”
* Random statistic
* Surname
* “He’s having a good second half”
* Surname
My Man of the Match is the chap who bumped into someone from the other side and just said he was sorry and gave him a little hug instead of arguing and rolling about on the grass.
