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I believe covid has turned up all my substance abuse tendencies & birthed a new level of alcoholism. I have to get help. I wonder how many others are suffering but too deep in their addiction to admit it.
How can I get the real help I need when all appointments are video?
Doctor: Monroe, no drinking this week. & take 2 Xanax a day.
Me at my appointment in my living room:
Doctor: Monroe, no drinking this week. & take 2 Xanax a day.
Me at my appointment in my living room:
I hadn’t smoked weed in 4 years. Hadn’t done coke since Beychella. During this pandemic I’ve been smoking more than Snoop & occasionally go on a Rick James bender. Shit is getting to me cause I feel my train derailing.
It started with one cute little “Quarentini” every night to celebrate another successful day indoors. Now almost a year later, I’m day drinking before 10am. I don’t even know how I got here. This is weird.
No official furloughs but my airline has me off for the next 18 months. My own small businesses were halted. Starting with my event planning. I had 4 weddings cancel. Slumber parties cancelled. Bleeding Money giving back deposits.
Not to mention on top of all of this, I have been suffering from postpartum depression & anxiety. So I feel at a standstill. Drinking cause I’m stressed. Stressed cause I’m drinking. Where do I get off this Ferris wheel from hell!?
It would be dishonest to say I’m going to quit drinking today. Or tomorrow. I feel better acknowledging that I have a problem. Thanks for reading my truth.
