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I know this is Christianity 101, but when your teenage/college years were spent in legalistic church circles, you tend to gloss over things: as followers of Jesus, we are given a fairly simple litmus test to discern if something is of God—we call it the fruit of the spirit.
When confronted with something that seems confusing, we can look at the situation and ask ourselves: “What kind of fruit is this producing?”
We are even told specifically what to look for:
- Love
- Joy
- Peace
- Patience,
- Kindness
- Goodness
- Faithfulness
- Gentleness
- Self-control
- Love
- Joy
- Peace
- Patience,
- Kindness
- Goodness
- Faithfulness
- Gentleness
- Self-control
This has helped me a great deal when it comes to people in the Church who believe all of the “right things” but exhibit attitudes of arrogance, unkindness, cynicism, and divisiveness towards their fellow human beings.
This isn’t about agreeing vs. disagreeing (that’s a completely different subject), but rather about which voices we choose to listen to and amplify in our churches. It’s even possible to have serious disagreements with someone who you think is generally worth listening to!
I found that when I started looking for these attributes instead of making sure that somebody was doctrinally on the “same team” as me, I grew more in my understanding of God and in my love for my neighbors.
This even helped me cross the bridge to affirming theology, but I will probably save that thread for another day. 
