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THREAD 
- in order to help Celtic fans comprehend the crushing defeat of losing 10IAR, I’ve made a wee thread for them to appropriately blame the main culprits for this seasons complete disaster. Pick one or many, the choice is yours! Enjoy!
- in order to help Celtic fans comprehend the crushing defeat of losing 10IAR, I’ve made a wee thread for them to appropriately blame the main culprits for this seasons complete disaster. Pick one or many, the choice is yours! Enjoy!
COVID - it’s been well know about medical circles (WHO and the Gallowgate) the coronavirus disease is principally attracted to those who do not wash, sneeze without covering their mouths and also invade personal space (like robbing houses)
DUBAI - in order to simulate sleet on a Wednesday night in West Lothian, the club went for some pints in Dubai to wear black socks sitting on a sunlounger pissing yourself laughing
SHARKS - the elasmobranch fish has more teeth than most Celtic fans have brain cells. Usually found swimming in oceans, they have been found to fly in and around the London road area, distracting Irish centre halves from looking at the ball
KRIS BOYD - also with similar teeth to a shark, Boyd has been responsible for various awful performances by Celtic by both speaking AND smiling, thus putting the team off their natural rhythm
And now we move on to players:
BARKAS - a nice looking lad who in his younger years looked like he could’ve worked in Woolworths. Been rejected for a Tufty the squirrel super-saver account because - somewhat ironically - would struggle to catch COVID
BOLINGOLI - mind when you all had his surname in your Twitter names? Loves an 18-30. Not a holiday, weeks without playing for his parent club
LAXALT - bullied out of AC Milan by Zlatan who refused to play with a 12 year child, Celtic seemed to be a natural fit. Admit it - you saw him being unveiled and thought “he could make Anton Rogan look attractive”
LONDONDUFFY - Shane Duffy. A man who sings his own songs in the pub with his mates. Likes the IRA, clean sheets not so much. Swears he saw a flying shark once but no one pays any attention to him.
BROONY - Runs about, enjoys Spanish archers, awful hair, awful tattoos (except Rangers one). Apparently Soro is better but evidence points to the contrary. Disowned by family.
FRENCH EDDY - Enjoys u19s, not a fan of running. Used to be good, can’t be arsed, seems to be going up in value despite getting worse every game
GRIFFITHS - did somebody say Just Eat? Once “broke down” in a McDonald’s drive thru, and restaurant had to close two hours later due to stock issues.
And now to back room staff. Please think of this as Mortal Kombat, going up a level until you get to the big snow-eating boss
STRACHAN - undefeated this year, aiming for a career promotion to PC World on the assumption he can borrow a suit from somewhere. Has tasted acting, previously appearing as Happy Gilmore’s caddy
THAT RECRUITMENT GUY - can’t remember your name, but I wouldn’t trust you with Tesco vouchers mate
BRAVEST MAN IN SPORT - been through the hard times himself, now enjoying spreading the bad times among everyone else
LENNON - wee Snus Hiddink, teeth like a row of condemned houses, Lenny doesn’t know if it’s the players, a mole, the culture, the players again - one things for sure, it’s been a “privilege” watching him ruin his legacy.
Ok a wee bonus round...
SHERIDAN - the Pollock Plural Plunger seems to have to wear Celtic clothing to tell us he’s a Celtic fan. Tommy - we all could’ve guessed that the minute you spoke. Truly a DIAAAAASTER
LAWWELL - laughing away whilst pocketing cash. I’d say Im sorry Peter, but then after apologising I’d spend 10 minutes explaining why I’m not sorry.
DESMOND - just needs an underground liar beneath a volcano to go full-blown Bond villain, huge shark enthusiast and recently came into some metal barriers that he doubled his money on.
HOOPY THE HUDDLE HOUND - got out when a wee lad left an emergency exit open in October. Never been back since.
