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no one asked but. a reminder to have the hard conversations with your partner(s).
a thread
a thread
some time ago a friend confided in me that she did not want to have kids. her partner believes that she will grow out of that when they get older/married. though there is no right answer in this situation, she asked me if i thought there was something she should do about it.
the hard answer was that if she was asking me what she should do about it, she subconsciously knew she needed to do something about it - it wasn’t sitting well with her.
a relationship where one person is needing kids for a fulfilled life and the other is not needing kids to have a fulfilled life - troubling. you’re disagreeing on fundamental issues that will serve as the basis of your relationship. and it’s no ones fault. it just is what it is.
your partner is not wrong for wanting differently than you. but even if it is not important to you, it probably is important to your partner. and you owe it to them to consider their wants and needs.
sometimes these things can work out - but only with communication. it is dangerous to ignore or sacrifice your partner’s happiness for the sake of your own - and vice versa - no matter how much you love that person.
tldr; it’s fine if your partner wants kids. it’s fine if your partner doesn’t want kids. but it is not fine to assume that they’ll adapt to what you want. it is not fine to ignore their wants and needs. and it’s not fine to ignore the situation hoping it’ll go away.
