Read on Twitter
What I learnt on the Twitter this week:
1. Doug Ford says if Pfizer doesn't step up, he'll drive a tractor-trailer full of firecrackers down to Kalamazoo to talk ying-yangs with Pfizer's CEO.
2. Joe Biden's first act as President is pouring himself a giant cup of Kenney tears.
1. Doug Ford says if Pfizer doesn't step up, he'll drive a tractor-trailer full of firecrackers down to Kalamazoo to talk ying-yangs with Pfizer's CEO.
2. Joe Biden's first act as President is pouring himself a giant cup of Kenney tears.
3. Jason Kenney appears on the FOX News to plead his case for Keystone. Insiders say Kenney set to appear on The Weather Channel and The Jerry Springer Show sometime next week.
4. Kenney ends his Fox News interview by storming off set shouting, "Marica! Marcia! Marccciaaa!"
4. Kenney ends his Fox News interview by storming off set shouting, "Marica! Marcia! Marccciaaa!"
5. Bernie Sanders first man to land a lawn chair and wool mittens on the moon. Afterward he meets with The Beatles and then makes a guest appearance on Friends
6. Neither Biden nor Harris tweet anything incendiary or riddled with typos this week. 74 million Amurikuns confused.
6. Neither Biden nor Harris tweet anything incendiary or riddled with typos this week. 74 million Amurikuns confused.
7. Trump had a Village People mixed tape. Biden had Gaga, 8 million pounds of fireworks and a watch worth almost as much as Trump's toilet.
8. Trump leaves White House for the last time. The world rejoices. Except Trump's kids, Ted Cruz and one point five billion Alberta dollars.
8. Trump leaves White House for the last time. The world rejoices. Except Trump's kids, Ted Cruz and one point five billion Alberta dollars.
9. Doug Ford tours Oshawa Holiday Inn. That's it. That's the funny part.
10. Reports indicate memos show Ford and Lecce ignored experts' advice about school safety protocols. Ford's comms team say Horwath to blame for Ford's misunderstanding of the expert reports he never read.
10. Reports indicate memos show Ford and Lecce ignored experts' advice about school safety protocols. Ford's comms team say Horwath to blame for Ford's misunderstanding of the expert reports he never read.
11. Fullerton says residents dying in LTCs because Horwath is disgusting and also those horrible Liberal licence plates.
12. Fullerton says Ford government further increasing the iron ring around LTCs by scheduling two extra Zoom meetings they can tweet screenshots of this week.
12. Fullerton says Ford government further increasing the iron ring around LTCs by scheduling two extra Zoom meetings they can tweet screenshots of this week.
13. Lecce visits public school for the first time ever this week. Well, public school kids' living rooms. Via Zoom.
14. Doug Ford performs SNL skit during press conference this week; reprises role of Matt Foley, motivational speaker
15. Stephen Lecce buys new tight sweater.
14. Doug Ford performs SNL skit during press conference this week; reprises role of Matt Foley, motivational speaker
15. Stephen Lecce buys new tight sweater.
16. Lecce tweets Doug Ford quote, "Tough times come and go, but the Ford team will always take credit for motivational adages they didn't write."
17. Doug Ford waves his fist angrily at cloud shaped like Pfizer. Mutters something about ying-yangs and crawling up inside them.
17. Doug Ford waves his fist angrily at cloud shaped like Pfizer. Mutters something about ying-yangs and crawling up inside them.
18. Ford government secretly expedites demolition of Toronto heritage site. Says portions of new high density condo development designated as new affordable housing space. Indicates a bench will be placed out front that the homeless can sit on between noon and 2 PM on Thursdays.
19. Erin O'Toole announces Sunday CPC are not a Far Right. Follows up announcement on Tuesday saying money contributed to CPC by known neo-nazi is all Derek Sloan's fault. Derek Sloan argues CPC knew where money came from. O'Toole says mixup result of Pfizer's failure to deliver.
20. Justin Trudeau tells people to cancel any travel plans they have. Adds that March break travel isn't going to happen. Conservative politicians bring down internet trying to log onto Travelocity to secure refunds.
21. UPC redeem WestJet frequent flyer miles for $1.5B pipeline.
21. UPC redeem WestJet frequent flyer miles for $1.5B pipeline.
22. Jason Kenney says loss of $1.5B he invested in a project everyone knew wasn't going to happen will be recouped when he tears down 21,500 more Living Walls.
23. Rex Murphy says he's appalled by progressives' crusade to eschew investment in an increasingly obsolete industry.
23. Rex Murphy says he's appalled by progressives' crusade to eschew investment in an increasingly obsolete industry.
24. Conservatives outraged by Trudeau's decision to appoint Payette as Governor General. Say appointment of Conservative senators Denise Batters or Lynn Beyak would have been much better choice.
25. O'Toole calls Pfizer in November. Delivery goes late in January. Are you with me?
25. O'Toole calls Pfizer in November. Delivery goes late in January. Are you with me?
26. This week Bernie Sanders proved to us all you don't really need anything more in life than a comfortable place to sit, a warm coat, and cozy pair of wool mittens. Canadian CFL fans all know this to be absolutely true.
27. I feel as though Deadpool would make an excellent GG.
27. I feel as though Deadpool would make an excellent GG.
28. The end of January. Mid winter. Now facing February, the longest shortest month ever. At the rate Doug is vaccinating we should all be vaccinated by 2023. We're all kinda hitting the wall, I know.
But trust me. We'll all laugh about all this some day.
But trust me. We'll all laugh about all this some day.
