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about toxic positivity in schools, and the damage it does to culture. 1/16
about toxic positivity in schools, and the damage it does to culture. 1/16
When I returned to work at an NYC high school this September, I had just spent the summer caring for my husband and his family while they lost their father. Between that and caring for my then-1 year-old daughter, I was feeling pretty depleted. 2/16
My husband and I were drawing up a will in anticipation of me taking the subway three hrs/day during a global pandemic and teaching in a poorly ventilated 100 plus year old building with two windows that opened 3 inches each. But we couldn’t agree on a guardian for our kid 3/16
I had dreams where I was dead and my daughter was calling my name. I lost our first daughter at 24 weeks pregnancy so my PTSD was super triggered. I needed to go on meds on order to keep from crying and hyperventilating during the day. 4/16
1st day back, my AP covered the hallways in positive affirmations and Bitmojis of her saying “we got this!” And “teamwork makes the dream work!” The school counselor showed a TedTalk about how stress can shorten lifespans, but only for ppl who believe their stress is bad. 5/16
(I’m not criticizing my AP. She was doing her best. No one is prepared for what we are doing.)I expressed that I was concerned about implying that the health impact of stress is somehow related to mindset. 6/16
I was told it was part of the staff training in trauma informed learning and growth mindset. I knew this was wrong. I also felt incredibly alone. I wanted to be a team player and a leader in the school. But I was unraveling, and the culture was telling me to stay positive. 7/16
This culminated in my venting to a colleague on a hot mic during a staff meeting. It was a really bad day at work. I ended up pulling out of several professional responsibilities I had taken on and focusing specifically on just my teaching practice for the year. 8/16
Imagine how that situation could have been different if someone in leadership had reframed from positivity to genuinely holding space for pain? What if someone had said, “I know this is hard, but we will do everything we can to support you?” Or asked what we needed? 9/16
I wasn’t hiding. I was being very clear with my pain. But I was treated like I was dragging everyone down. I am 37 whole years old and I’ve been teaching for 11 years and writing about this is giving me palpitations. Ok. So. 10/16
Translate this to students. Someone who is traumatized by racism or violence. And their teacher is just teaching that this country is about democracy and unity and coming together. But every day someone they know dies of Covid. Or is murdered by police. 11/16
Do you think that unity message is making that kid feel safe? Or heard? Or seen? Children show up to school traumatized every day. Positivity doesn’t fix trauma. In fact sometimes it triggers it. And anxiety and depression are often rational survival mechanisms. 12/16
When @AkieaG designs curricula they are creating space for healing and truth. That doesn’t always mean unity. It doesn’t always mean positivity. How many missed opportunities from children who were never heard? How much damage have we done by telling kids to stay positive? 13/16
When you say “respect the leaders regardless” or “teach democracy” what you are really saying is, there is no space in school for examining pain or violence or reflecting non-white experience (Bishop, 1999). 14/16
Not only is this not trauma informed and bad pedagogy, it’s counter to data and research. Many educators, most of whom are white, have to stop teaching Ss how to make us feel comfy. Learning spaces must be just that. Spaces. We need to hold space. Witness. Reflect. 15/16
Anything else is doing violence to our children. We have to approach all of our Ss with what @RuizSealey calls Critical Love. And ideally this would be not just a pedagogy but an ethos for the world. Ok that’s it I’ve gotta change a diaper. 16/16
