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In response to the leaked clip I just saw of Sia’s new movie, here is a thread of examples and non examples for how to handle when your child, sibling, friend, or partner on the Autism Spectrum has a meltdown.
Disclaimer: I have a sibling with Autism, but everything that I mention is from my own experience with him. What works for one autistic person may not work for another, especially when taking the spectrum into account because not every autistic person is verbal.
DO: Remove the person from the environment they are in, if possible.
Meltdowns usually come as a result of overstimulation. Noises that neurotypical people may be accustomed to, such as loud crowds or passing cars, can be VERY overwhelming for those on the Spectrum.
If you can, take the person away from the overwhelming environment and into one that is as spacious as possible. It is important for the person to not feel constricted or closed in.
DONT: Yelling, hitting, and/or restraining.
Picture it like this: if you were unable to breathe, and someone came up to you and yelled at you to start breathing while pinning you down on the floor, that would not help you. It would only make things worse.
When a child is having a meltdown, the worst thing that you can do is add to it by restricting movement or adding additional noises. Not only do you risk the child hurting themselves, you also risk hurting the child as well.
This is ESPECIALLY true with those who are non verbal because they won’t be able to TELL you, for example, that they can’t breathe.
DO: Consider using a “YES” or “NO” system.
This is mainly for those who are non verbal, but if a verbal child on the spectrum cannot vocalize, this system works for them, too.
Ask the person a “YES” or “NO” question, and hold out your hands. Tell them that one hand means “YES” and the other means “NO”. If the child is able, instead of having to speak, they can touch the hand that corresponds with the answer they want to give.
The only thing I’d say about this method is to be prepared for them to slap your hand. Remember that they’re not trying to hurt you, and that it’s the equivalent of verbally answering a question quickly or loudly.
DO: Offer comfort/stim toys, if available.
If you have them, offer any toys that the person uses to stim. My brother for example, loves music, and has headphones he uses because he likes the pressure that they put on his ears. He also has hair brushes because he likes the texture of the bristles.
If you can, have a bag of these toys or objects handy. Meltdowns can also occur due to unfamiliarity with surrounds, and these comforting objects provide stability because the person recognizes and uses them.
DONT: Withhold comfort objects
Usually when a child has a meltdown, a parent might take away their toys as punishment. This is not something you should do to a person on the spectrum. Like I said, these objects provide comfort and stability, and can be a BIG help in soothing them during a meltdown.
DO: Learn to differentiate between the person’s different stims.
This is more of a general thing, but learning about different stims is important when it comes to getting to know someone on the spectrum better.
Keep in mind that the person may stim for different reasons. My brother for example, jumps and flaps his hands when he is happy, but covers his eyes and ears when he is overstimulated or upset. Knowing which stims mean what is vital to knowing how to handle them.
Remember that this is how they are expressing themselves. While people who are verbal can say “This place is too loud, I want to leave.” Those on the spectrum who are non verbal can’t do that, and sometimes the only thing they can do is cry or scream.
At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that patience is the most important thing. You cannot rush the process, you can only make it easier for them to get through it.
I know that it can be painful to see someone you care about experience a meltdown, but just know that they will come down from it, and that when they do, you will be there for them.
Here is a thread that further elaborates on the dangers of restraint. Even if you don’t know anyone on the spectrum, it never hurts to have the knowledge! https://twitter.com/autisticats/status/1351948094422843393
