Read on Twitter
Really glad people are speaking up about sexual assault / abuse on here! I think it's important to share these stories; if not for yourself, then for everyone else who is ashamed or afraid to speak up. I want to share a different perspective here in this thread. (1)
Abuse is a slippery slope, both for the abuser and the victim. Chances are, you aren't even aware you're being abused, or you might be an abuser yourself. It can start with behavior that you deem "a little annoying" and snowball into your partner having complete control over you.
I'm not afraid to admit that when I was younger, I had a very twisted idea about what a relationship was. Growing up in a totally dysfunctional family and raised by a single mother, I didn't have any real life examples of what a functional relationship looked like.
Enter my first relationship, in which I was super controlling and self-centered. Consent was ignored, mind games were played and the breakup was rough. Years later, I apologized for the abusive stuff that went down, so did he, and we are now friends. But the damge is done, ...
I am sure I caused him a lot of emotional trauma with that behavior and that's not something that should have happened in the first place. Distance between myself and my family let me see relationships in a different, healthier way, thankfully but...
nobody is exempt from reflecting on their behavior within human relationships and asking for consent, especially not me. I've talked about this to people and some said "don't beat yourself up, it was your first relationship and you were so young!" but
I'm not beating myself up, I'm just trying to be better and hopefully get other people to self-reflect too: By openly talking about this. I've since also been on the receiving end of both abuse and assault and it's deeply traumatizing. Whenever I see these public posts,
the accused party either denies doing anything wrong or remains silent. I mean, I get it, admitting that you did something bad isn't easy. Nobody wants the world to see their ugly side. But I think it's an important step in learning from your mistakes.
Oh, and don't drink alcohol at gay bars with strangers, when drinking makes you skip asking for consent. Super important thing I had to reflect upon. You can always drink together when you know them better and they gave you consent before drinking!
Check this video out too,
