prompt: one thing that prevents the plot of a major film, novel, comic, or game from occurring. I'll start you off: enroll Anakin Skywalker in a sex ed course

so many bad things in this series do not happen if the UAC got a OSHA inspection

When Xenophon asks Socrates about whether or not to take the merc job in Persia, Socrates just says "are you crazy? stay the fuck home" instead of referring him to the oracle

First Mate Dantès demands that Captain Leclère enumerate the full chain of custody of all packages being transported by the Pharaon in the contracted Elba-Marseilles trip. Leclère refuses, Dantès is fired, and Danglars takes his place prior to the voyage.

CyberDyne Systems loses the Skynet contract to Initech. As of the year 1999, Initech has no working product available. VP Bill Lumbergh is ordered to stonewall Government Accountability Office investigators sent to audit the Skynet program.

Marko Hoxha, despite being a ruthless human trafficker, promptly releases two American teenage girls after listening to an oddly specific threat made over the phone by the father of one girl

David Lightman actually dials into a computer game company called ENCOM. Unfortunately, they only offer arcade games but there's one game in particular that's playable involving light cycles.

Lucy Westerna accepts Quincey Morris' marriage proposal. Upon seeing Morris and his gigantic Bowie knife, Dracula not only stays away from Lucy but runs all the way back to his Transylvania castle, triple-locks every door and window, and refuses to admit any visitors

Prince Arjuna enters the battle of Kurukshetra and, although seeing many people he knows on the other side, feels absolutely nothing and fires his bow straight at the center of the enemy line

Paris, already feeling absurdly arrogant after having convinced three goddesses to strip naked in front of him, gives the apple to Hera. His reasoning? Why one woman, even the most beautiful one? Someone as swagged out as Paris *deserves* entire continents' worth of women!

Christine Hargensen and boyfriend Billy Nolan are caught in the act of killing pigs and draining their blood. The bizarre crime dominates news headlines (what else interesting happens in small towns in Maine) and both are expelled from Ewen High School.

The alien bastards do not, in fact, shoot down Duke Nukem's ride

Antonio Andolini sucks up his pride and pays Don Ciccio