Thread by @kiricopia, ah but pining krbk where bakugou hears kiri masturbating beyond the wall [...]

ah but pining krbk where bakugou hears kiri masturbating beyond the wall minutes before they go to hang out, every single time. the first time he thinks it's a fluke, but no. kiri doesn't seem to know how easy it is to hear him

ok ok wait this trope but make it dumb as hell

like the gag is bakugou stopping in his tracks and just going deadpan each time he hears it. just sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, hoping kiri will be quick. bakugou doesn't have the nerve or heart or whatever to interrupt him

and you know, eventually bakugou pieces together that it's because kiri's attracted to him. it's somewhat endearing—kiri's so pent up over him that he thinks the act is necessary, can't keep his cool, just likes bakugou that much. but

it also pisses him off because? just do something about it, idiot? like is bakugou really so sexy that teaching him algebra or just walking down the street with him means kiri HAS to rub one out to avoid getting a boner? every time?!

so naturally, bakugou leans into it, starts being deliberately provocative and whatnot. just teases the living hell out of him. except?

kiri is reacting strangely, more strangely than bakugou would anticipate even a doofus like him would react

like the situation gets big stupid. bakugou's like bending over slowly to retrieve things he dropped accidentally and kiri is wondering when his bro got so clumsy. bakugou's slowly applying chapstick and kiri had no idea he wears so much

and then one day kiri's just like "dude, are you trying to seduce me?" and bakugou didn't expect verbal confrontation so he explodes and kicks kiri out. the nerve. the absolute gall of this clown, bakugou thinks

so a week or so passes and they go to hang out again and bakugou fucking hears it. and it sounds sloppy. kiri's grunting and panting and bakugou's heart is pumping twenty emotions a mile a minute. and of course he does his bakugou thing—he barges in

but kiri's not masturbating. he's fully clothed and (I don't know? something stupid) eating really good soup while using his hand weights. he smiles cheerfully and he's got bits of Campbell's Chunky Sirloin Burger with Country Vegetables all up in his teeth

he perches the weight on his knee. "just a few more minutes man, and I'll be ready!"

bakugou just lies on the floor and kiri asks if he's feeling feverish. he gets real close all concerned and his breath is tellingly savory.

bakugou wants to take reality and wring it out like a wet towel and then snap it on the ass of whatever divine being produced his mortal form

so he sighs and rubs his eyes and says, "I thought you've been masturbating"

and kiri scratches the back of his neck and

purses his lips because like yeah he did masturbate last night but he thought he was quiet? he's only a guy after all. and how is that pertinent and what does that have to do with anything. so he says something to that effect

bakugou angrily grumbles what he *really* thought and it all comes out like one long word but kiri manages to decipher it. he laughs and jostles bakugou trying to get him to laugh but bakugou's too embarrassed. eventually he sits up, rage rejuvenated,

and demands, "so why the fuck do you *have* to eat soup and lift weights before we hang out?!"

and this is where kiri gets really bashful; he softly explains that their dates have been cutting into his training time, that he still needs--

--more exercise and more protein than he can get on his little outings with bakugou, but he likes hanging out with him sooo much that he was trying to balance things

and bakugou's like. "dates?

"

and yes kiri had thought they were dating the whole time

and now they're both blushing and decide that yes they are dating and kiri offers him some soup. they sit on the floor and eat soup and kiri bats his eyelashes at him when he teases him about how he thought kirishima could be such a weird perv. end scene

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