History is mega super gay, especially Greek History. As a historian seeing things like Spartan helmets and "Molon Labe" all over tactical vests like a racist version of TGIF flair makes me want to laugh, cry, & scream at the same time.

Spartans were obsessed about being hard AF but also took younger male lovers because it would make them fight harder to protect them in battle. They braided their hair and put perfume on their bodies before battle so they could leave a beautiful corpse.

They were also a weird people, even for the Greeks. They saw themselves as invaders in their own lands, were always in a genocidal war with their own serfs and at the same time were much more open to women owning property and having rights.

At one point most of the wealth and power of the city was in the hand of like 10 women because a law that allowed widows to inherit their husbands land. So the whole 'come back with your shield or on it' bit might have also been 'go die with your boyfriend so I can take yo shit.'

Most of the shit the fachy fucks quote today about saving western civ was from Athenians not Spartans. Who were one of the first democracies while also being horrible cunts to the entire Greek world from most of time. They also HATED the Spartans.

So when ever I see the bedazzled tac vests of Nazis cosplaying as soldiers it looks like someone wearing a TNG uniform with a Jedi robe, carrying a Jaffa staff weapon, and quoting Battlestar Galactica and desperately claiming they are cosplaying as a Harry Potter.