Read on Twitter
I am going to come out and admit the most embarrassing thing about me, and if I get canceled, I deserved it. About a year ago it came to my attention that I am distantly related to George W. Bush
One of my ancestors invaded "Plymouth" and cut off somebody's head then had a party about it and was awarded a vast parcel of land that didn't even belong to him, got drunk, attacked people, and also like ruined crops cause he said he was good at agriculture but he f*cking wasn't
Then another one like stole a pig from his neighbor and so he passive aggressively helped write the eighth amendment
Another received some kind of medal or something for loving the confederacy, committed his wife to an institution as an "imbecile", and married off two of his 11 daughters at like 13 years old
Another one also committed his wife and had her forcibly sterilized
And then like five or six generations back, one of them married their third cousin. And "owned" a.......... tobacco field
Several appear to be rapists
One of them was banned from 2 European countries for sedition
One of them was formally disciplined for getting caught being gay on a ship but was a compelling public speaker so he talked his way out of it
One of them had a second family and like said he was going to war but actually he went AWOL bc he didn't like it so he married some 15-year-old in North Carolina when he had like 9 kids and a wife back home and she found out but was punished for trying to seek a divorce
A suspicious amount of self-declared Freemasons, attorneys, preachers, and low-level politicians. Basically people who yell for a reason and also love to do crime
Anyway, white people, before you do your genealogy (I spent like 2 months on this ~year ago), prepare to learn that you are descended from probably the worst people in modern history responsible for the majority of current problems, & your distant relatives may have done 9/11
And don't f*cking cry. about it lmao sit back for a second and think what that means
And maybe how we f*cking got here and how when someone finds my government records 100 years down the line I hope they feel pride and not disgust, and I hope their life is better because I did something while I existed that didn't make the world extra shitty, & pref no war crime
