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'Tell me what's working well' - has the professional asking that question ever stopped to think just how inappropriate and offensive that question is? There you are, with your child disintegrating in front of your eyes, while they seek a pat on the back for enabling it
But, if you don't play the game, their whole body language changes while they seek others in the room who can massage their frail ego. Then it becomes a mini-meeting of professionals patting themselves on the back, saying how you *must* accept they are doing absolutely everything
Only, that just means having another meeting, 2mths later, when all action points have not been actioned. But, out comes the 'so what's been going well' comes out again. Well, nothing because all those whose job it is to do something, have done nothing
And it just gets worse, another 2mths passes by. Then another. So your emails get terse. Then you're a horrid person, ruining everyone's positive karma The meetings drop off. A couple of years goes by. No-one's seen your child. Every Child Matters is forgotten.
Eventually, you blow your shit. Emails are fired off, scattergun. A new meeting is arranged. 'So, tell me what's been working well'.........
I am left wondering, given the sheer volume of parents who retell various versions of this scenario, how many parents of children with SEND *do not* recognise this?
The thing about 'what is working well' is that it is rarely used as a platform on which to build support. In every meeting I hear it used (in virtually all meetings in some form or other), it is used to shut parents down, shut constructive conversation down.
I find the term very closed. Parents often are forced to find something 'good', even when there is none - e.g. non-attendance. What on earth do you respond to when your child has not been in school for months/years and no contact/work is being provided?
Why can't we have open-ended questions - are there any problems/what are the problems/what would you like to discuss first etc etc depending on context? Allow the parent the opportunity to direct the meeting. It can still be semi-structured to ensure efficiency
'What is working well' , imho, is extremely inefficient. It would be great if used as a base for building, but I see little or no evidence of this - unless I jump on aspects and force them into the open..... *sigh*
