Every goddamn step of changing your birth documentation when trans is so unnecessarily hard.

Do you want to know how we filed for Kissmate to get an M on his birth certificate? WELL I'M GONNA TELL YOU.

First, our county doesn't have a form for that. Austin, the liberal shining star of our state does, but we do not.

Austin will become important to this thread, because when I called our county to ask them the process, they told me to fill out AUSTIN'S form and submit it here. In not-Austin.

"Call back and let us know if it works?" the woman told me. "We've told trans people to do it this way before, but they never do. The previous applicants gave up or moved away." Imagine my facial expression.

We went down to the courthouse, however, and filed the Austin paperwork. Along with a $300 processing fee. Yeah.

Fast forward some weeks and we call to ask what's going on and has MAYBE the judge gotten around to signing the damn thing? "He sent you an email. He wants to set up a Zoom call to talk to you first."

We did not get an email. Someone, perhaps, typed the email incorrectly. Can they send the email again? No, but someone named Linda can setup the meeting. I have Linda's phone number.

I left a message with Linda three days ago and she hasn't called us back. LINDA. I've got all day and a pandemic to redial your number every 5 minutes. I am more stubborn than CATS, Linda.

I think the hardest part of being trans is the constant persistent feeling that you're always The First Trans doing a thing in your space, sigh.

You're The First Trans to file in your county. You're The First Trans at your dentist office. And you're probably not!!! But the cis people and the lack of accommodations/processes make you feel like you are.

I have called and asked if anyone other than Linda can help us. "No."

She's not picking up her phone or returning messages, I point out. Can I come up there and see her. "No."

She's working from home. Fair enough, there's a pandemic. Can someone there check on her? "No."

Me: "So she could've been eaten by zombies in her house and you guys have no way whatsoever to check on her and no one will know for weeks because 'she's very busy'??"

Clerk: "...she has an email too."

Me: "You have NO WAY to get in contact with Linda, and NO WAY to otherwise schedule the meeting the judge wants to have?"

Clerk: "There's the email he sent you."

Me: "We didn't get the email. Can you resend the email?"

Clerk: "No."

Me: "Can we at least check which email address he sent it to? Maybe see if he put in a zero for a capital O?"

Clerk: "Ma'am (the case I'm calling about is marked as an FTM trans case, but the clerk keeps calling me 'ma'am' again and again), we can't see the judge's email."

I burst into tears on the phone and I don't even feel guilty about it at this point.