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I want to share a story about something that happened to me today. At the end, I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. My hope is to share my experience in order for us all to learn. I’ll try to use some photos for reference as well & so you don’t get bored, so...here we go:
After work I went to one of my favorite spots to get some photos of a pair of shoes. If you follow my Twitter or IG, you’ll notice that a lot of my shoe photos are in the same location. Here are some photos in that spot:
Although it’s an alley, it’s pretty open. There’s a strip mall to one side & a storage facility on the other. At one end there’s a car wash. There’s a really nice woman who works at one of the businesses who is usually working when I’m out there & always smiles & waves at me.
Today I wanted to grab some photos on my way home and stopped in that area. I parked my car next to me, out in the open, & had my camera gear & the shoes out in the open. I learned early in life that it would be my responsibility to let people know I wasn’t a threat.
It was still light outside, around 4:30pm, & cars were coming & going to & from the car wash. You could hear audible sounds of the water sprayers & voices from down the alley at other businesses. Here’s a photo of the area where I was in the exact moment after what happened next:
As I was taking this photo (unedited), a truck started coming down the alley. I didn’t pay much attention to it because I was trying to get the angle I wanted, which I was struggling to do because I’m a perfectionist when I create, but then I heard the truck slowing.
The truck stopped & an older white man rolled the window down & just stared at me. So I just kinda smiled. He asked, “Can I help you?” I responded with, “I don’t believe so.” He then said, “Well, I look out for things around here.” I just smiled but I know I was making this face:
He then asked if the car parked next to me was mine and I told him it was. He then said, “Well, I just think it’s weird that you’re over here.” So many thoughts & responses flashed through my head. I usually try my best to not be confrontational & just let things go.
Not today.
Not today.
I then asked him with a smile, “Is there something about me or anything that I’m doing that made you feel that it was weird that I was over here & made it necessary for you to investigate?” He began fumbling with his seatbelt & fastened it as he rolled up his window & drove away.
It’s what prompted me to take the original picture. I got emotional looking at it & as I am while typing this. What is so weird about me being in a public place, during the day, when it’s light outside, visible to other people, while people are around?
I did what I was taught. I made sure I to look as non threatening as possible in what I was doing. I made sure to show that I was intentionally there & openly showed what I was doing so no one would have to ask. Yet, someone still considered it “weird” for me to be there.
I don’t think everyone is racist, but we are all biased towards someone or something. I’d like for you to ask yourself if your biases are causing you to think that it’s “weird” for certain people to be present in certain spaces. Do you approach people with your biases loaded?
Do you form an immediate opinion of an individual based on your own experiences & assumptions, what the media shows you, & society’s flawed standards, without actually considering the individual?
I have some two-folded advice.
I have some two-folded advice.
First, if you asked yourself those questions & answered yes to any of them, it’s ok. It’s how we’re programmed. Our brains are wired to fill in the gaps of what information is missing. It’s YOUR responsibility to recognize and check it.
Second, if you’ve conditioned yourself to not be who you truly are to make sure people “accept you” & to keep them from feeling like it’s “weird” for you to be in public, work on YOU. It’s not your responsibility to make people let you exist in this world.
I’m almost 40 years old & I fully understand I may never feel that secure feeling of belonging. At the end of the day I’m no one special. I’m just a creative who likes to make dope art:
But there are two people I’m going to do everything in my power for them to be able to have that feeling.
My children.
My children.
If you want this world to change, you have to be the change. Check what is within you & use your voice.
Be the example.
Be the change.
No one person in this world can make any of us treat another human being any type of way. We do that ourselves.
Be the example.
Be the change.
No one person in this world can make any of us treat another human being any type of way. We do that ourselves.
