A new dawn rises for my libtard brethren. All bask in the glow of entitlements as the gathering clouds of socialism rain luxuries upon us. With witchcraft Biden magics every gun into a bong. Schools immediately implement homo curriculum and women receive our abortion punchcards.

Apple pie is outlawed. Toby Keith is in prison which is now a yoga retreat led by a ponytailed man named Sage. White families are sent to sustainable organically farmed communes and black transsexual rappers move into their former homes. Football isn’t called soccer anymore.

Only women’s sports are televised. Boys are allowed on the teams. There aren’t try outs everyone just takes turns. Every citizen, immigrant & pet gets a trophy in the form of a Patagonia gift card. Hillary Clinton wanders the woods, emailing. Men embrace & weep in the streets.

Toddlers are taught “I language.” Standardized testing is replaced with a breathing exercise. Everyone gets a bike. Not only do we all have health care, we all work in health care bc the hospital’s a co-op. We’re each vaccinated with a microchip that performs routine vibe checks.

what a world where a yoga teacher I follow is on my Instagram talking shit about me lmao