twitter “care and accountability” VS bullying and attacking: a thread.

a lot of people on this app participate in cancel culture, dragging, etc.

it’s harmful and toxic and always masqueraded as “holding someone accountable.” so i’ll explain to you all true care and accountability how i TRULY learned it— from black women in this movement.

coming into this movement space i was very defensive to criticism as i grew up in an EXTREMELY abusive household.

over time and away from toxic spaces, i was able to learn what holding people accountable and truly caring for them entails.

i will use Cardi B and her 88k purse tweet as an example.

for those who don’t know, around a month ago Cardi B posted and asked her fans if she should get an 88k purse.

she was immediately met with attacking and criticism.

“it’s a pandemic bitch ask your rich friends.”
“i fucking hate rich people.”
“she’s so dumb!”

a lot of people have been taught that THAT is holding someone accountable. and it’s not.

here’s how to HONESTLY hold someone accountable (if you’re not seeking to be toxic and participate in cancel culture.)

firstly, address the person you’re intending to. speaking about people in third person on their own statuses is rude and dehumanizing. people can see every tweet just as you can. would you like people referring to you in third person?

example:

“Cardi, .....”

secondly, using cursing language always will hold a negative connotation.

if your goal is to get across a message to this person and truly change their perspective and NOT join in on twitter’s favorite pass time— dragging and cancelling— cursing is NOT THE WAY TO GO.

Example of care and accountability:

“Cardi, I think posting about your purse was inappropriate during a time like this. There are millions facing evictions who don’t have the luxury of spending that much on a purse. Your post is tone deaf and I think you should delete it.”

my mom calls me often and tells me what’s going on in the world. she often used triggering language.

literally today she used the word “s*****de” on the phone and i flipped out on her and said “that’s a trigger to me ma. you know i literally lost someone to that...”

she was (understandably) confused. i calmed down and explained why it’s important to give a warning about harmful content.

peep this:

she didn’t even know what a trigger warning was she thought that killer mike came up with that term as that’s what his show is called.

so had i chosen to go off the deep end, i would’ve upset my mother snd caused strife when she simply did not know something.

THE FUCKING BEST thing i’ve learned in this space is to

“assume best intentions”

for me, this shit changed my world bro.

i grew up fucking terrible snd always having to defend myself in inner city schools.

learning that not everyone is out to get you and that some people have good intentions was revolutionary.

and learning how to discern the two is important.

you can never control how the other person responds.

(hypothetically) you can say everything i said above and they still attack you. but at least you know that that attack is coming from a place of immaturity and not because you hit first!

so in my own case a few weeks ago when i was cancelled for saying i was headed to DC, my response was warranted by my own standards.

there were thousands saying they hope i die and calling me a clout chaser and agent and bitch.

that is not care. that is not accountability

and when twitter decides to attack, it attacks hard and so dangerously. that’s why we often get the response from celebrities that we do— ignorance/ plugging their ears. because for every comment that’s accountability, there’s 50 calling that person a bitch or dumb.

and there is no heavenly way on Earth that most of you can be coming from abolitionist ideologies/ activism spaces and participating in cancel culture.

our spaces directly CONTRADICT cancel culture/gossip/toxicity.

we believe in RESTORING people. not throwing them off to die.

there are people who deserve to not benefit from what they’ve risen to fame for R. Kelly, Tory Lanez..”
and i’m not in any way excusing their evil behavior. but when we eventually abolish the carceral systems, we will be forced to confront people who have done worse face to face.