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Justin, I’m sorry to hear it has been a struggle for each of you and your partner. IVF and infertility -and the hope/loss cycle that comes with it- is complex and isolating. And adding to the complexity, it will often affect you and your partner in different ways. https://twitter.com/js_mc2/status/1351672975347625984
Like so many things in life, it is something you don’t have control of. And that is the tough to grasp: it’s something you imagined, dreamed of, put aspirations on, built plans on - and legitimately a huge life thing you want to control-and then it’s totally out of reach.
It’s time like this I always try to remember I can control how I respond to things. So for me, that’s educating & informing myself. The books we’ve read: The Art of Waiting, The Baby Matrix, - for ivf and reimagining fertility - Bearing the Unbearable for loss- have helped.
You asked how did I stay positive through it-I would say in my case-a VERY positive, high emotion person-it wasn’t about staying positive through it. I wasn’t. For me it was about staying real & true to the moment I was in. Allowing it to be what it was so I could process it
Not trying to always make it better while we were waiting for news in IVF and not trying to run away from the pain when we lost Amadeo. And-not too get to out there on you-realizing emotions are neither positive or negative, but feelings that are important to experience in full.
It is a complex maze of emotions for sure, but don’t bury them because they will - in my experience -come out at some point and the further they’re buried the more pronounced they’ll be when they come out.
The other thing I would say is find someone to talk to. It can be anyone, even me here. And be there for your partner.
I hope you have the support and space you need now. Your journey continues and you - simply in writing this and reading this here- show great strength.
I hope you have the support and space you need now. Your journey continues and you - simply in writing this and reading this here- show great strength.
