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2021 goals boiled down to their core: manage over-confidence and control risk
Why have I historically been so bad at these fundamental aspects of trading? My personality. A track record of scholarly, athletic and personal success has solidified subconscious expectations for myself.
I demand excellence from myself, and often am shell shocked when my own self image comes into question as a product of short term failures (commonplace in professional trading).
The dramatic and aching need to realign my image of myself with reality often leads to overcorrection. Outsized risk, home-run hunting.
Deep levels of pain and introspection are the only way to slowly build back up. Repeatedly, I have shown myself to be my own worst enemy when battling the aforementioned aspects of my personality.
The solution is a combination of falling back to my trading roots, sizing down, doing the hard work that I admittedly push aside in a hunt to reaffirm my own ego. But alas, deflecting from the solution only feeds the ongoing risk of spiral! Such an important reminder for me.
To anyone finishing this mini thread and looking for an answer, sorry. I don’t have it yet. My journey is deeply personal, a net sum of everything I’ve been through. The psychological issues can be similar for all of us, but my way forward will have necessary uniqueness.
I should also add that if I’ve learned anything from @Canny4, it’s that I probably won’t ever find an “answer” to my issues. But I CAN find a harmonious exchange that leads to long term profitability as a product of a deep understanding of myself and my flaws.
Finally, I am fortunate not to be alone. @steenbab, @MikeBellafiore, @Canny4, @eminiplayer and my risk manager Carlton do an incredible job of supporting me. I want to be able to pass on the valuable lessons I learn from them while battling my own unique issues.
