Thread
It was very hard for me to live as a stealth tran man in my line of work, mental health. Not because I couldn’t pass decent enough but because I had to lie to vulnerable people. Let me explain. I worked in a youth psychiatric hospital training for a position in an

adult recovery program as a peer mentor. This position requires openness & honesty with the clients you are working with. These facilities although they house both sexes under the same roof do keep sex segregated rooms & bathrooms for the safety of the clients.
Because of this and the need for some people to be closely supervised the sex of the worker is important as well. A female might need to be looked after while using the toilet or shower and only another female can do that. A male also will often need to be supervised & a male
will need to do that. This left me in an ethical dilemma. I was once asked to supervise a teen boy in the bathroom he was experiencing psychosis & was very angry & suspicious of the women in the facility.
He was also very preoccupied with possible rape from a man. And from the minute he saw me he didn’t trust me. He new something was off & I made him very uncomfortable. So here I am having to be lie to a scarred vulnerable child because
I’m trying to live as something I am not. To me this is unacceptable. I went to my supervisor & told him the kid was very uncomfortable with me & that my coworker would be a better option. He didn’t agree so I was required to supervise him in the bathroom. After that
the young man grew more uncomfortable & started accusing me of being a fag & wanting to rape him. At this piont I didn’t give a shit if I lost my job I went back to my supervisor & explained that I am agitating him & it’s going to lead to a confrontation, why? Just give him
The worker he is comfortable with. Thank the goddess he finally agreed & I was able to give the boy his space. But you can see how this is an issue. What if a tw was working there & expected to supervise the girls? How do we negotiate this. Is it right to make underage
Mentally ill kids feel uncomfortable/unsafe because some adults want to attempt to live as the sex they are not? For me the answer was no! Never! So I spent my time there negotiating these situations & successfully avoiding being alone & responsible for any of the kids.
Side note here, most of the girls were very comfortable with me & often gravitated towards me. One girl requested I be her one on one. I’m thinking these kids new what sex I was even if unconsciously. The girls knew i was safe the boys knew there was something off about me.
There is a reality to living a lie. The lie is not yours alone when it comes to something as big as your sex, it involves every single person you come into contact with. You brake social contracts left and right. You deceive people & for what? So you will be more comfortable?
How does that square? Now if you want to be open about being trans well that’s a whole other can of worms isn’t it. Because most people are still going to be uncomfortable with you, & honestly you can’t blame them. It’s a pretty weird thing to do.
My piont is, I personally became very uncomfortable with lying to people & being deceptive. My own personal beliefs do not allow for it. This also played a part in my decision to detransition. I knew I wanted to continue in the mental health field & I wanted to be honest with
The people I may work with. #detrans