Read on Twitter
"NAIROBI NO PER-PERSON SHARING" - Mau Mau elder (1964). In Nairobi there are phrases you will hear that will immediately let you know that your bae is another persons bae. Let me school you. Knowing these phrases will save you up to 300 hours of wasted time..... here they are
1. "I don't go to Dejavu because I don't wanna meet some people". Everone knows that Dejavu is the 'Per person sharing' headquarters. Now, if your prospect creates an excuse to avoid Dejavu...... hapo unacheswa. You're sharing a boo buddy
"Aki that guy is stupid". This is the classic line that helps you identify your competitors. When you hear this, run..... because it will end in tears
"Girls don't know how to give good head". Ladies, any guy that tells you this has most likely gotten head from a guy and there is definitely something he is hiding. Your competitor is definitely not another girl 
"I'm really not looking for a relationship right now". In Nairobi, this means there is a wide pool of candidates that are on heavy rotation and your will definitely not be recruited
"Wait for me here. Promise me you wont move or leave". This phrase is usually followed by a Judas like kiss. What it really means is that you competition is at the other section of the club and potential conflict is being managed
"Kwani hunanga mtu?". Hapa unatolewa group stage because your competition anapelekana holiday next week. The best reverse psychology out there because you are being accused of doing what they're doing. Lmfaoooo
"He/she and I broke up but I still support them emotionally because they're broken". This means that they're still having wild monkey sex and you are playing the unofficial role of therapist.
"Yuck...what the hell is he/she doing here?" This means that they're going to leave the club together to have wild monkey sex as you're left in the club sorting out the bill
"Let me go and pick this call outside". This means that the main shareholder of the relationship has called and will probably show up at some point. You're soon being told "I'm unwell. Lemme go sleep". Lmfaoooo
When the friends say "Aki I feel like hoeing today" around you without being subtle it really means that they don't care about you coz you're one of the hoes who is a bottom of the barrel option. Lmfaoooo
"We had a thing" means they are still in love and from time to time they have flashbacks of the monkey sex they had in the past
"Its complicated" means that you have been considered as the radical leader who will change the government via a Coup De Tat. A new fighter has entered
"My phone was off all weekend. It had problems. Just got it fixed. Sema?" This means that your competitor probably drives a Subaru or is an influencer for an airline. Your bae was having monkey sex out of town while drowning in premium gin. It will end in tears
"Aki huyo dem bado ananisumbuanga". Ladies, this man is still in love with this woman and loves being disturbed. You're the rebound. Lmfaoooo
"Aki why are you single?" That bestie of yours secretly wants to cheat on their partner whom they're having relationship problems..... with you
