Acknowledging which parts of them I only viewed through rose tinted lenses really helped me during the healing process. As time passed & I worked to process everything, I realize how much credit I was giving the person in areas I shouldn't have.
Thinking about the attachment itself and why it happened the way it did. Thinking in detail about how they made me feel - before, during and after. It’s easier to get over the loss when you feel betrayed or slighted by the person.
Because who wants to stay attached to someone who did them like that in the end honestly. Not denying the connection or the good times, there were tons of those but the exaggerated sense of joy & depth & belonging I believed to have felt needs to stop.
Seeing situations and people for who and what they are/were. Realizing you did the best with what you were given at the time. Internalizing that your intentions were pure the whole time and that’s why it hurt so bad.
Acknowledging that you lost a friend, someone who was dear to you. When you are unprepared for a loss or it was sudden, it never feels necessary. Your mind just wants to feel in control, turn back time and do it again. But it happened and we can’t change it, we can learn though.
There was a lesson here. The healing process is about finding it. What got you so far gone for them in the first place? Were you void filling? Were you in a saviors complex? Were you just trying to have fun? Whatever the reason was, unpack it. Reflect on it.
There doesn’t have to be something wrong with you or the reason for why you were attached. You simply were and they simply were and now it’s over. The sun and moon comes out and we begin again. Beginning again is easier when you explore the mind though, I will say that.
Only when you are ready. You’ll be sad, distraught and angry at first. Let your body do it’s thing as it processes the loss. Then, as you regain some strength and clarity. Introspect. Make new memories. Talk to yourself. Talk to someone. Be kind to yourself. Make new memories.
The old memories don’t lose their shine or anything but the new ones help you to realize that there are other valuable gems left in the gallery of life. You just have to keep moving with your head held high (and sometimes low) so you don’t miss them 🤍 Love you.
You can follow @gaialect.
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