Thread by @IamEtubo, There is this group I was advised to join when we moved [...]

There is this group I was advised to join when we moved here about 3 months ago (transfered due to work). So, I read about the population of wildlife here before we moved yeah? Cos this state is actually known for it. [THREAD]

I even found out the town I was moving to had rattle snakes, wolves, scorpions, and cougars before we moved. So I wasn't really excited about the transfer at all. There were times I ran to my supervisor that boya he should change my location to the city. Format no enter.

Because I dont want to deal with animals rara. I hate those kinds of wahala in my life. My boss would be like "thousands of people live there, I don't know why you are worried. Animals wouldn't just be looking for you. You need to stop tripping! "Haaaa. Me! Tripping? Ok"

So this elderly man (neighbor) walked up to me the day we were moving stuff in. We exchanged pleasantries. He then said "you will love it here. Very good neighborhood". I was like "yeah, I see that. I hope y'all don't see wild animals around here

?" He said..

"Ohhh we have seen quite a few. Look at the brown house down there *he points* the dude who lives there saw a snake in his yard few days ago. *points again* that lady saw couple foxes about a month ago.... someone also saw scorpions in their garage few days ago"

I was like:

So while we were talking, another neighbor joined us... "welcome to the neighborhood bro". The other man continued "I have been living here for the past 25 years. You will love it! And if you happen to see any animal, pls call me, and I'll call those who will come get them"...

So If I see snake in my living room, I should serve it dodo ikire and zobo, and say "Wait Mr Snake, sit down on the couch, and let me goan call one of my neighbors, so he can tell people to come at catch you."

Abi what is this man saying? I don't think this man is okay.

Let any snake enter my house boya I will not break its head with kondo. The man added me to the Facebook group where people who live around share info (animals, theft or whatever). He said I should check it daily. I got inside and called my new supervisor here in town

He asked "Hey whats up. Everything okay?" See Uncle! Everything is not okay at all. People here on my street are just seeing scorpions and foxes anyhow. Its like we will coman live with you o. Cos all this no make sense rara ati rara. Dude was just laughing and told me to be calm

That Facebook group I was added to fam. You see people posting pictures of animals. I just read it and say eeyah cos nothing concern me. There was this day a woman posted a picture of a mountain lion and said "I just spotted this close to my house, please be careful" omoooo!

Faaaaaaam! Waitttttttt! Whattttt? It's like this people want to see a mad person display? Moutain lion bawoooooooo?! Ffs! Are these animals mad? Omo! You should see how I ran to goan lock our cars.

Mountain lion should not goan rapala enter my car and chop me while I am driving.

Ogun aiye oni bori wa o.

That same day, Amiyah left the door wide open cos we were cleaning.

"Haaaa! You this girl sha want to koba me.. Shey you want to kill me ni? If mountain lion

goan enter, shey you don't know its me it will first chop ni? That one will think someone is strong and eat someone anyhow.. goan close the door my friend."

So, last week I got a notification from the group right? This dude posted a video of

A rattle snake in his back yard, and captioned it "y'all be careful. I just saw this in my backyard, I'm scared".

I was like "Eeyah, God will save this one o". I could see in the video that the snake was trying to get on the fence, but it couldn't". I was about to get off FB

So I decided to read the comments... A dude had asked him to post the address so he could send help. I checked the address and it was my neighbors. The house beside my house gan gan. I was like "Ehn Ehn Ehn! A'o ma ni resu keh? What is happening?" I ran to the door to make sure

It's locked make snake no go fly enter. I sha sat on the couch just checking updates in the group... few mins later, dude posted "I guess there is more than one snakes".

You guess? How? Why are you guessing? "Son said he saw 2 snakes before he came to get me.

I was like:

So where is the second snake bayi o

? Woh! Mr man, you and your son should check your "comboard", you must find that snake because what is these nonsense? Shey your son cannot tell them to stay one place ni? Abi ewo ni weyrey? How can a whole rattle snake be missing?

Haaaaa!!! Heeeey!!!! These people don't know me o. I will scatter everywhere o. Don't use rattle snake and play with me o. I can choose not to leave this house for a whole year because of that missing snake. Find that unfortunate snake or this street will not contain us.

He updated his status again "y'all be careful cos I don't think the other snake is in my yard... maybe look around"

I don't get... you want me to come out of my house and look for rattle snake? So what if I find it? I should tell it i was looking for it. Haa! Olorun Oba o!

I curse the day I moved here. I curse the day you people became my neighbors. I curse this town. I CURSE everything about this unfortunate place. Haaaa.

Amiyah came "Daddy, can we go get food".... ha no! All of us will eat at home today. Because that snake could be at the door

I was just thinking..." so where might this snake be o? How can this snake leave his wife? Abi husband, abi siblings? and just go another place? Ha! Abi it is in my compound ni? This neighbor is very unfortunate. Animal Control came to my neighbor's house and caught that snake

They tried looking for the second one, but had no luck. He posted on FB "well, the snake has been taken care of, but they couldn't find the second one".

I peep through my window and check my backyard. Hmmm nothing.

"Abi I should go outside and look for it ni?

." Ha! Nope!

Ewo orisha! Ai gboku oko, ai gboku ada. Ago merin ni awon omo primary school jade.

Incantations: (God forbid, hoes dont die, cutlasses dont die. Its 4pm primary school kids normally leave school)

Even to enter garage sef na wahala. When high BP wanted to kill be cos of snake-

I called animal control and explained to them so they came in to inspect my yard and everything and they said it isn't there. They told me "just dont leave your door or garage door open if you don't need to. Everything looks fine".

I stepped out the second morning and saw my

neighbor smiling at me. "Hey bro good morning" I just smiled.

You that I am beefing you and your son.
You people allowed one snake to escape and almost killed me with high BP. I am not your neighbor dear. I just live beside your house.

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