didn't realize until today how much I had internalized my mom saying it wasn't worth the cost of supplies for me to do art because I just don't have any talent. (1/10)
I've done some art in the years since, but never traditional paint media. Before today, it had been eight years since I'd last thought "I'm going to paint" and went and got a canvas & brush. (kindly given to me by my mother-in-law) (2/10)
I've never felt comfortable "wasting" supplies to make "shitty" art. I've done digital art (free), crafting (with friends), and sewing (functional), which are creative, but were never art for art's sake. (3/10)
When I was done with my painting, I was proud for a few minutes--it looked how I wanted it to (mostly), and I thought it was pretty. But then I could hear my mother's voice--"it's derivative, it's ugly, they sell those at gift shops, what a waste of time & money." (4/10)
I left my MIL's studio, and asked my boyfriend to go look at it while I waited in the living room. I asked him to tell me whether it was garbage or not. He thought it looked really cool, and said so. And I didn't believe him. Instead, I burst into tears. (5/10)
I cried tonight about the feeling that my creative expression was a waste of time. I cried about remembering that I preferred painting to every other media as a child but decided not to paint after a particularly nasty lecture from my mom when I was 16. (6/10)
I cried about being a child when my mother, a professional painter, told me I would never be good--let alone as good as her. I cried about every time my friends told me my crafts are beautiful, that I have good ideas, or that I'm creative. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. (7/10)
I guess my point is that you deserve to express yourself, cost shouldn't be a prohibiting factor in whether or not you can participate in art, and don't ever fucking listen to people telling you that you or your art isn't valuable. It is. (8/10)
I know this thread should theoretically end with me sharing my painting so everyone can go, "oh wow, this art is actually really good" for the narrative of my growth and all, but I'm actually still terrified that somebody will say that my art is garbage. (9/10)
Instead, I will ask you to be kind to an artist today (or tomorrow, since it's late), especially, if that artist is you. Tell them that they deserve to experience art. That they deserve to create art. That they are capable of creating beautiful art. 
(10/10-->your art!)

