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Relationship Thread
I am not sure if this is new or I’m noticing more as a married man, but so much content today glorifies cheating for the ‘right’ partner. We find ourselves cheering for ‘love’ over ‘commitment’. It is something my wife and I recently talked about, thoughts
I am not sure if this is new or I’m noticing more as a married man, but so much content today glorifies cheating for the ‘right’ partner. We find ourselves cheering for ‘love’ over ‘commitment’. It is something my wife and I recently talked about, thoughts
1/ As I have gotten older I now have more married friends and even some divorced friends already. I am having deeper convos with my friends about the challenges we go through in our relationships, which never happened in my early 20’s and I rarely see with my older family members
2/ As a kid I saw adultery with my father and grandfathers, impacting my life and the women raising me. It led to me questioning if monogamy is even attainable as I didn’t have many examples. I questioned myself as a result
3/ That self doubt re-emerged recently when my lead Pastor was fired from my church of 7 years for adultery. I valued his opinion deeply and looked up to him. If he couldn’t be faithful, how could I? A question many of us have asked internally, but not externally
4/ I had failed being faithful early in my relationships in college, but I was young so who cares right? I saw others doing the same thing so didn’t think anything was wrong. It continued to blur my view of relationships. I was now doing what I had said I would run from as a kid
5/ Our childhood environments impact us so much as adults. I have begun to truly understand how critical parenting is to society. It takes time to realize so much of YOU is the results of others, but it doesn’t mean you can’t improve or change. But it takes intentionality
6/ After college I decided I wanted to be intentional about being a faithful partner. Working in finance in NYC in my 20s, this was sub culture. I had to be super intentional about surrounding myself with the right people and putting myself in the right environments
7/ It was hard and not a straight path, but I’m glad I started before I met my wife. I told my best friends to hold me accountable bc I wanted more. This is not spoken about b/w male friends EVER, there is an unspoken boys code
8/ Now that I’m married I have my wife, family and friends continue to support and hold me accountable. I know that I can’t do this on my own bc I’ve seen what happens when people try to do marriage alone.
9/ This topic is so important to me bc there is no greater decision or relationship in your life than your spouse. It is so hard to be at your best if your relationship is not at it’s best. I truly believe the world will be better if we help each other thrive in our relationships
10/ I encourage you to find other relationships you want to emulate and to also be that relationship for others, including your children. It’s not easy, but it is one of the most fulfilling things you’ll experience. We must have conversations about our flaws and challenges
11/ Ultimately it is up to you and your partner to decide what faith means in your relationship. Have that discussion and find others to hold you accountable bc it is hard to do on your own
