I know I make a point of speaking about the harms of the detrans community I left but I'd rather that people's take away is that "we need to create more resources for people" rather than "terfs are an evil cult". People turn to ideology to solve real problems.
The detrans women's community was one of the only places I found where I could explore how my trauma intersected with my gender dysphoria and how misogyny/lesbophobia had hurt me. Parts of "reconciling w/ being female" did really help me but the toxic parts were really toxic.
There can be pressure from both inside and outside of the trans community that makes it hard for transmasculine people to grapple with the effects of trauma and/or misogyny on our lives. We need more spaces to deal with that.
Also more space for people to claim both transmasculinity and womanhood and/or dykeness. There are lots of people who feel both butch and trans who have trouble finding spaces that understand and welcome them.
Not everything about the detrans women's community is terrible. The transphobia and rigid ideology are harmful but there are aspects of that community that really are useful and healing for some people. Recognizing the good parts is as important as naming the harms.
Figuring out what parts of rad fem detrans culture are useful can help people create more resources to benefit both trans and detrans people. It's not like the whole thing needs to be scrapped, just the parts that are harmful.
You can't counter ideological detransition without creating more resources for people. Work to give them better ways to solve their problems and get what they need.