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I am a scientist at heart. In elementary school it was my favorite subject. Right now I'm a technologist in my career. At the base of everything I'm always very curious about human behavior.
This was a curious experiment for me both because I'm super insecure about the way I look and as I said before I tend to minimize myself in real life. https://twitter.com/darlingnisi/status/1350275259988111360?s=19
I'd never actually wear anything like that in public because it's too revealing for me... But I was trying something new literally for science. Normal me 98% of the time is the first part of that video.
Also again if you are always the awkward nerd type growing up it's weird to get compliments when you glow up... you never trust them because so much of your life has been people making fun of how you look.
This experiment was interesting because I know I have insecurities and I also know that I feel a way about objectification... And how people reduce and judge others on the way they look or present themselves.
It's why I always feel complicated about noting how physically attractive Prince is. He was aware of how he looked and he was proud of how he looked. But in a way, people also minimize him to how he looked in ways that hit one of my own projections/insecurities.
I always wonder if he felt he had to live up to the expectation of his fans... That he made such a brand of looking ageless, that he put a lot of pressure on himself to live up to those expectations "but I still look the same" - Prince
Everybody is always ready to see him look perfect, but pictures like this makes people feel sad. This is 100% real. This is a human person not a fantasy or a cleaned up version with filters and Photoshop. This is a 56ish year old man.
These are photoshop. As much as I love these pics, they aren't real.
Feedback from my experiment was largely supportive but I also got some that was like kind of creepy. Like comments about my boobs and stuff that were super uncomfortable.
(you can see things and just keep it to yourself you don't need to communicate that you know).
I can also see how if I note something then it might seem permissive to make a comment about the something. In my brain I'm so disconnected from sexuality, if I note body parts it's literally an observation and not me sexualizing myself.
I understand that humans are also sexual beings, but that is just an aspect of what it means to be human. That human person also has insecurities and confidences and fears and whatever else that makes up how people manifest their own humanity.
Take a beat & recognize that people are whole people. Also read the room. If a person has literally never talked about themselves sexually, or has even specifically stated that they're uncomfortable/insecure about it maybe don't send them messages talking about their body parts?
The way to support them in self actualization is not to compliment body parts (or ask to see them). Just say the person looks nice in general. That's a catch all.
