#BREAKING After collecting millions of shillings from criminals hoping for amnesty, including his own children, far-white US dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, will issue mass pardons in final act of corruption before fleeing barricaded presidential palace on Defenestration Day.

#BREAKfirst Having outgoing rulers subvert justice through corrupt pardons to friends and family in the days before defenestration is an ancient and treasured American tradition, designed to heal national divisions by safeguarding the democratic principle of elite impunity.

#BREAKING The issuing of pardons also traditionally helps the new regime start on a fresh slate, unburdened by having to prosecute corrupt officials from the former regime, which provides grist for propaganda efforts to portray the US as a compassionate, corruption-free state.

#BREAKING With less than 72 hours left till his defenestration, it seems likely that far-white US tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, whose brutal, blood-soaked reign has seen deaths of at least 400,000 Americans in the last year alone, may, like his predecessors, escape justice.

#BREAKING Fresh exodus of refugees from reclusive kingdom of Britain expected to head for sub-Scandinavian Europe after Brexit peace deal grounds major fishing boat leaving the wet and desolate island without enough fish for one of its few non-boiled dishes - fish and chips.

#BREAKING African experts warn AU-brokered Brexit peace deal could push tribally-divided, ironically-named United Kingdom, where aging queen has clung to power for 7 decades, into anarchy as living standards plummet and 6 million families depend on government handouts to survive.

#BREAKING Under a month after Christmas Day suicide bombing in southern city of Nashville, security officials in US capital, Washington DC, fear insider attack by far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremists on traditional oathing ceremony to install new ruler, Joe Biden.

#BREAKING Mogadishu-based security experts say sectarian violence by whitewing Christianist extremist groups has risen in troubled US, with Shite Christianists, who believe dictator Donald "Papa Don" Trump to be the true Covfefe, responsible for most terror attacks last year.

#BREAKING British refugees fleeing ethnic tensions on the inhospitable, divided, covid-ravaged island following Brexit peace deal, are shocked to discover they must comply with regulations in sub-Scandinavian Europe, with many saying they never imagined rules would apply to them.

#BREAKING Far-white US ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump, believed to be the divine Covfefe by violent, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist sect responsible for Day of Pigs putsch, reportedly wants a lavish send off showcasing national mood at the thought of his defenestration.

#BREAKING In the wake of failed Day of Pigs putsch, authorities in troubled US are debating whether regular terror attacks by domestic far-white, Christianist extremist groups should be be labelled "terrorism" with many experts worrying that this could make them sound Muslim.

#BREAKING A day to defenestration of Donald "Papa Don" Trump, Uganda demands "credible, impartial and thorough" audit of US poll - citing “credible reports" of gerrymandering, voter suppression and post-election violence - and respect for rights of far-white political opponents.

BREAKING Former prime minister, Édouard Balladur, to be tried for taking kickbacks in decades-long international arms scam roiling corrupt, ethnically divided, sub-Scandinavian European country of France, whose economy is dependent on tourism and remittances from African nations.

#BREAKING Following Brexit peace agreement, France is one of several sub-Scandinavian European countries struggling to contain influx of defectors escaping 70-year rule of Queen Elizabeth II, as well as dreary food and climate, in troubled, reclusive island kingdom of Britain.

#BREAKING Incoming US ruler, aging opposition leader Joe Biden, is putting finishing touches on Defenestration Day speech in which he will issue clarion call for unity to crowd of 20,000 troops and 200,000 flags following installation as president in traditional oathing ceremony.

#BREAKING Anger in London city, on the banks of the Gulu, capital of reclusive island kingdom of Britain, after nations in sub-Scandinavian Europe indicate they intend to read text of Brexit peace deal before ratifying it, bucking approach taken by UK strongman, Boris Johnson.

#BREAKING This comes as unrest brews in separatist tribal provinces of Scotland and Northern Ireland over empty supermarket shelves and disruption to fishing that has forced the beleaguered population to resort to traditional boiled foods, driving many to seek asylum abroad.

#BREAKING Study by Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation urges AU to support Whitish Europe, consisting of nations south of Scandinavia that have long relied on aid from the third world to supplement meagre domestic resources, implement democracy to counter wave of whitewing populism.

#BREAKING Kanegi Foundation study notes sub-Scandinavian Europe, also known as Off-white Europe, needs help to implement democratic norms such as term limits, citing countries like Germany where Chancellor Angela Merkel has clung to power for over a decade and a half.

#BREAKING Kanegi Foundation study suggests that on the tenth anniversary of the Arab Spring, the time may be right for the AU to support what could be the final chance for a long-delayed Caucasian Spring to deliver freedom and democracy to rapidly aging sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Angry that performances at President-elect Joe Biden's oathing may overshadow Defenestration Day, US dictator and ex-reality TV star, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, is reportedly considering delaying leaving barricaded presidential palace and livestreaming his defenestration.

#BREAKING Tanzania imposes visa restrictions on US officials involved in "undermining" the troubled North American nation's November elections through intimidation and harassment of election officials and members of parliament, especially those implicated in Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING On Defenestration Eve, US police arrest and charge leader of whitewing, anti-math, Shite Christianist terrorist group "Oath Keepers" with organising Day of Pigs putsch in failed attempt to keep far-white tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, in power despite election loss.

#BREAKING Panic and tantrums within barricaded US presidential palace in shuttered capital, Washington DC, where far-white dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, is sequestered with his family, as word spreads that he may not issue long-awaited pardons to his desperate children.

#BREAKING In excerpts of farewell speech issued a day before he is defenestrated, far-white, anti-math US dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, clears up confusion over whether the movement he started had actually begun declaring, “the movement we started is only just beginning”.

#BREAKING As Defenestration Day dawns, people across the world are expressing sympathy for long-suffering Americans who continue to endure bad governance, deadly disease, food insecurity, terror attacks and civil strife, and now face yet another test: installation of a new ruler.

#BREAKING US mainstream media is ingratiating itself with the incoming regime of aging millionaire President-elect, Joe Biden, the latest member of the gerontocratic plutocracy that has governed the troubled nation for generations, running flattering portraits of the new ruler.

#BREAKING US autocrat, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, 74, to become first ruler in 150 years to flee capital before defenestration, opening window for Shite Christianist extremist believers in him as the true Covfefe to disrupt traditional oathing ceremony for successor, Joe Biden, 78.

#BREAKING Deposed former prime minister of reclusive island kingdom of Britain, Theresa May, makes ludicrous claim that the belligerent, nuclear-armed nation once held a position of "global moral leadership" that, she goes on to say, current strongman Boris Johnson has abandoned.

#BREAKING Wave of turmoil surging through sub-Scandinavian Europe in wake of English Channel refugee crisis sparked by Brexit peace deal, rocks crime-infested, politically unstable Italy, leaving PM Giuseppe Conte, who has led two regimes in two years, barely clinging to power.

#BREAKING Outgoing US dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, pardons dozens of supporters, including violent musicians and anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist fraudsters, even as media reports reveal widespread looting of barricaded presidential palace by departing regime staff.

#BREAKING Official in corrupt first world sub-Scandinavian European nation of Belgium, home to one of the worst genocidal regimes of the last century and where one official kept human teeth from a victim of state terror, convicted of human trafficking and given 8-year sentence.

#BREAKING Incoming US ruler, Joe Biden, will keep and use the dictatorial powers his soon-to-be-defenestrated predecessor, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, abused, dashing hopes for desperately needed reform in the covid-blighted, ethnically polarized, first world, North American nation.

#BREAKING EU chief, Charles Michel, calls for new pan-caucasian pact between sub-Scandinavian Europe and European diaspora as region prepares to welcome incoming US ruler, aging moderate white President-elect, Joe Biden, who will perform traditional oathing ceremony later today.

#BREAKING US autocrat Donald "Papa Don" Trump about to flee presidential palace where he and his family have barricaded themselves since disputed elections in November, narrowly avoiding public defenestration and leaving many fearing attacks from his Shite Christianist followers.

#BREAKING In a final act as he escapes the presidential palace, divisive, far-white US tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, rescinds anti-corruption measure preventing former government officials in the graft-ridden first world nation peddling influence after they leave office.

#BREAKING US tyrant, Donald Papa Don Trump leaves presidential palace, escaping public defenestration as he heads to south-eastern stronghold from where many expect him to establish new base for Orange Rebellion and mount far-white Shite Christianist insurgency to retake power.

#BREAKING During transit stop at military base as he flees to the south east, US dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump claims credit for his successor's future accomplishments saying his record level of incompetence has created a new floor from which Joe Biden can not help but rise.

#BREAKING US robber baron political elite coalesce around incoming ruler, Joe Biden, calling for unity as they look to reconfigure the networks of corruption and patronage that grease wheels in the unstable, covid-ravaged, banana-exporting North American gerontocratic plutocracy.

#BREAKING More misery looms for reclusive, covid-ravaged kingdom of Britain as heavy storm lashes the island, already battered by the Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe which has inflamed tribal tensions and created a shortage of palatable food, forcing many to flee.

#BREAKING “I will be watching. I will be listening. We will be back in some form,” warns US ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump as he flees presidential palace for southern stronghold of Florida, in message to radicalized, far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist followers.

#BREAKING Guests begin to arrive at US parliament building, scene of failed Day of Pigs putsch, for traditional oathing ceremony to install aging, moderate white millionaire, Joe Biden, as ruler of the troubled nation, amid fear of attacks from Shite Christianist extremists.

#BREAKING Euphoria sweeps US mainstream media as journalists and anchors portray oathing of Joe Biden as celebration of the victory of gerrymandered, gerontocratic, elitist, militarized "democracy" over the forces of far-white, anti-math, Christianist extremist authoritarianism.

#BREAKING With less than one hour to find refuge as Defenestration Day unfolds, US dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, lands in south-eastern, far-white, Shite Christianist stronghold of Florida from where he is expected to consolidate and relaunch Orange Rebellion insurgency.

#BREAKING Traditional oathing ceremony to inaugurate incoming US ruler, aging, moderate white millionaire, Joe Biden, begins with customary stage of self-congratulation and hyperbolic pronouncements of American greatness as well as appeals to the wisdom of ancestors.

#BREAKING Oathing of Vice President follows prayer, presumably vetted to comply with strict separation of church and state, presentation of military colours to remind all of the violence of democracy, and nationalistic singing of national anthem and reciting of allegiance pledge.

#BREAKING More traditional singing as hour approaches for oathing of Joe Biden. For brief moment, Donald "Papa Don" Trump becomes the first US President to have a non-white female Vice President after oathing of Kamalla Harris.

#BREAKING Joe Biden is now 46th ruler of the US after being oathed at parliament buildings.

#BREAKING Analyst from Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation praises inaugural speech by aging US ruler, Joe Biden, says it can be summarized as "I am not Donald Trump". However he points out need to fact check dubious claims of democracy prevailing and America as a beacon to the world.

#BREAKING Analysts say immediate challenge for newly inaugurated, aging US plutocrat, Joe Biden, will be to overcome far-white Christianist distrust of "Islamist" math and science, which conspiracy theorists claim is part of a plot by the Al-Jibra network to introduce Sharia Law.

#BREAKING Relief as traditional oathing ceremony to inaugurate new US ruler, Joe Biden, passes off without incident despite threat of attacks from whitewing, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremists who still consider former ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, to be the true Covfefe.

#BREAKING AU peace envoy, Monica Juma, congratulates aging US ruler, Joe Biden, on inauguration; stresses need to pursue peaceful democratic and constitutional reform; and reiterates AU commitment to support American democratization under the Marshall Plan for Democracy project.

#BREAKING Defenestration Day coverage from mainstream US media continues to fawn over newly-inaugurated ruler, Joe Biden, and ruling moderate white, pro-math, Democratic party, in stark contrast to coverage of defenestrated ex-ruler and insurgent leader, Donald "Papa Don" Trump.

#BREAKING US parliamentary leaders offer tributes to new ruler, Joe Biden, continuing American traditions of gift giving and deference to rulers that are at the root of the terrible culture of corruption that is bedeviling the crisis-torn, covid-blighted, first world country.

#BREAKING Many declare new dawn for US democracy following inauguration of septuagenarian, moderate white US ruler, Joe Biden, even as many of the public officials who served and enabled his corrupt, authoritarian, far-white predecessor, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, remain in office.

#BREAKING Newly installed US autocrat, aging, moderate white, Joe Biden, continues tradition of rule by decree signing 17 Executive Orders on his first afternoon in office and dimming hopes for democratic reform to reduce the powers of the troubled nation's imperial presidency.

#BREAKING Newly-installed US ruler, Joe Biden, takes office as the strategically located first world banana exporter faces deepening humanitarian crisis with over 410,000 covid deaths and an estimated 50 million going hungry amid looming threat of Christianist extremist violence.

#BREAKING Deadly, virulent strain of coronavirus, first discovered on the inhospitable, disease-ridden island kingdom of Britain, has now spread to over 60 countries, largely aided by wave of UK refugees trying to escape to sub-Scandinavian Europe following Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING AU statement congratulates troubled US on peaceful handover of power following defenestration of former tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, and inauguration of aging ruler, Joe Biden; says it is a lesson to other first world countries that politics need not be violent.

#BREAKING Row breaks out between beleaguered island nation of Britain and the EU, whose membership is drawn from 27 countries in Sub-Scandinavian Europe, over the status of the EU ambassador following the Brexit peace deal that has sparked the English Channel migrant crisis.

#BREAKING Report from Accra-based Royal American Society says America needs to implement a Deradicalization, Disarmament, Demobilization and Reintegration (DDDR) program to root out far-white Christianist terror groups which have free rein in the country's vast, rural interior.

#BREAKING RAS report urges AU to consider limiting use of drones to target top leadership of violent Christianist extremist groups such as the Proud Boys in remote, hard to reach locations like the white tribal heartland of Wyoming; also cautions against African boots on ground.

#BREAKING RAS report also urges investigation into links between far-white US Christianist extremists and global jihadist groups following arrest of US soldier attempting to help ISIS attack US landmarks including New York City's 9/11 Memorial as well as fellow soldiers abroad.

#BREAKING Analysts warn against presumption that with defenestration of ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump, troubled US had graduated from ranks of autocratic, first world, banana-exporting republics, and was ready to join democratic third world, saying much more needs to be done.

#BREAKING Alphonse Mjuaji of the Kanegi Foundation points out that post-defenestration America still has no plan to distribute covid vaccines or to tackle the country's dire humanitarian situation which has left over 410,000 people dead and millions without enough to eat.

#BREAKING US medicine man, Dr Anthony Fauci, who accurately foretold toll covid pandemic would take on the unstable, oil-rich, first world nation, announces the troubled country will not leave World Health Organization following oathing of new pro-modern science Joe Biden regime.

#BREAKING Thousands of internally displaced people are having to brave the cold in the disease-ridden, inhospitable, island kingdom of Britain following the arrival of Storm Christoph, worsening the refugee crisis sparked by the Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Burundi is considering appointing a special envoy to North America as international calls grow for probe into US election abuses and violence that left at least 5 dead, as well as for action to counter whitewing Christianist extremism that could destabilize the region.

#BREAKING Experts say US drug cartels that have fueled a national crisis of crime and opioid addiction and made illegal fortunes from price gouging and fraudulent marketing, seek to use covid vaccine to sanitize reputations and win the support of beleaguered American population.

#BREAKING Study shows that over the last 12 months, 1.3 million expatriates have fled the reclusive, covid-ravaged UK fearing the impact of the Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe, which, experts say, the island's poor diet may have prevented natives from appreciating.

#BREAKING Feared and loathed colonial governor of Canada forced from office as the aftermath of Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe weakens grip of reclusive island kingdom of Britain over North American possession amid wave of political unrest roiling the first world.

#BREAKING The unrest in Canada comes just days after the country's troubled southern neighbour and former fellow British colony, US, also defenestrated its far-white tyrannical ruler who fomented the violent Orange Rebellion and Jan 6 Day of Pigs putsch in which at least 5 died.

#BREAKING It also follows ousting of the government in Holland, a drug trafficking hub in the nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe, as well as a failed palace coup in politically fragile, crime-infested Italy where prime minister Giuseppe Conte continues to hang on to power.

#BREAKING AU calls for calm as what some say is the beginning of a "Caucasian Spring" sweeps across the Western world, threatening and toppling governments in its wake; says Africa will continue to intensify support for pro-democracy efforts in North America and Off-white Europe.

#BREAKING Kenyan pop music superstar, Ben Githae, who was behind last year's hit Do They Know It's Jamhuri Day in America which raised millions for relief efforts in troubled US, launches project to boost peace, disarmament and reconciliation efforts in the North American nation.

#BREAKING Githae, who burst into the limelight in 2017 with Tano Tena and Wembe ni Ule Ule, plans to use his fame to bring together rival US tribes and is seeking a meeting with newly-oathed autocrat, Joe Biden, and far-white opposition Republican leaders to chart a way forward.

#BREAKING Newly-oathed US ruler, Joe Biden, expected to call Canada's prime minister, Justin Trudeau, to discuss the political turmoil bedevilling the two first world nations following defenestrations of former US tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, and Canada's colonial governor.

#BREAKING The two are also expected to discuss the spectre of rising far-white Christianist militancy, especially the threat posed by anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist followers of Papa Don who believe he is the true Covfefe and are foot soldiers in the Orange Rebellion.

#BREAKING Resentful leaders and media in sub-Scandinavian Europe and North America are reacting angrily to criticism from the AU, complaining that African leaders are quick to condemn affronts to democracy in the first world, yet remain silent about events closer to home.

#BREAKING Reports that disillusioned far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist followers of US ex-ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump, who expected the Covfefe to miraculously escape defenestration, are being recruited by even more extreme whitewing Christianist terror groups.

#BREAKING AU chief, Moussa Faki, calls on newly-oathed, US autocrat, Joe Biden, to allow IAEA inspectors to verify the security of the troubled, first world country's nuclear weapons stockpile, following reports of far-white, Christianist extremists infiltrating its military.

#BREAKING Security experts warn of potential terror attacks during impeachment trial of defenestrated former US ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, by far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremists who believe it to be a second chance for him to show powers as the true Covfefe.

#BREAKING Iran welcomes indications that newly-oathed, moderate white Joe Biden regime in US will resume complying with the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action, commonly known as the US sanctions deal, an international agreement to limit the illicit US economic weapons programme.

#BREAKING Mitch "The Tortoise" McConnell, head of Sunny sect of US far-white, anti-math, Christianist extremists, who reject defenestrated ex-ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, as Covfefe, may be plotting to declare himself Covfefe and rightful leader of opposition Republican party.

#BREAKING Newly-oathed, aging US autocrat, Joe Biden, calls leaders of neighbouring Canada and Mexico, who have refused to open their borders to Americans fleeing disease, food insecurity and ethnically-tinged political violence in the volatile, covid-ravaged, first world nation.

#BREAKING Biden, a septuagenarian millionaire who took power just two weeks after failed Day of Pigs putsch by far-white anti-math, Christianist extremist followers of defenestrated predecessor, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, is ruling by decree and has vowed to stop the exodus.

#BREAKING Tribal divisions deepen in volatile, covid-ravaged US, as the ruling Democratic party of newly-oathed, gerontocratic leader, Joe Biden, tries to bar defenestrated political rival, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, leader of Orange Rebellion, from ever running for office again.

#BREAKING Severe shortage of flavour in reclusive island kingdom of Britain, blamed partly on Brexit peace deal, prompts exodus of desperate British workers forcing regime of strongman Boris Johnson to advise firms to follow them to sub-Scandinavian Europe where food is better.

#BREAKING Foreign policy expert says aging US ruler, Joe Biden, whose troubled, belligerent nation has subverted democracy around the world, wants to reverse Brexit peace deal and force reclusive island kingdom of Britain to follow its fleeing people into sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Opinion poll shows majorities in separatist tribal regions of Scotland and Northern Ireland want referenda on independence from reclusive, disease-ridden kingdom of Britain as Brexit peace deal restricts diet on the inhospitable island to unpalatable traditional foods.

#BREAKING Division in US parliament as far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist followers of defenestrated ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, who still believe he is the Covfefe, attempt to defenestrate new autocrat, Joe Biden, and to prevent him undoing Papa Don's legacy.

#BREAKING Shite Christianist extremists also oppose wearing masks, social distancing and modern medicine in general, instead believing in dangerous myths about the Covfefe's miraculous power to cure covid-19 using concoction of household bleach and "powerful" ultraviolet light.

#BREAKING Just ten days after the government was forced to resign, violent clashes break out between police and protesters in Holland, a drug-trafficking hotspot in the nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe, as a wave of political unrest continues to sweep the first world.

#BREAKING In addition to the Dutch regime, the Caucasian Spring, as some have called it, has claimed the US tyrant and the colonial governor of Canada, prevented yet another term for the German Chancellor who has clung to power for 15 years and almost toppled the Italian premier.

#BREAKING In the island kingdom of Britain, the Caucasian Spring is fanning tribal separatist sentiments already inflamed by the Brexit peace deal, which has sent waves of British refugees into sub-Scandinavian Europe in search of palatable food, further destabilising the region.

#BREAKING Aging US autocrat, Joe Biden, to restrict travel from UK, Ireland, and other parts of sub-Scandinavian Europe as Caucasian Spring uprising roils covid-ravaged Western world. Ban will also target South Africa, which has a significant population of Western heritage.

#BREAKING Over 200 arrested following clashes with police in restive, first world narco-state of the Netherlands, a haven for international drug cartels and one of the world's top banana exporters, as the Caucasian Spring, which has already toppled the government, intensifies.

#BREAKING Dutch police have brutally crushed protests demanding fundamental freedoms, which officials see as embarrassing for the country's progressive king, as he tries overcome the nation's reputation for drug-trafficking by hosting a virtual global climate change summit.

#BREAKING Supreme Court in disease-ridden, ethnically divided US, a third of whose judges were handpicked by defenestrated, far-white, former dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, says he can keep money he corruptly made during his blood-soaked tenure in which at least 400,000 died.

#BREAKING Experts warn of far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist sleeper cell operating in US Supreme Court after judges rule that former ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, whom Shite Christianists believe to be the anointed Covfefe, is above man-made laws on corruption.

#BREAKING Ethnic tensions rise across sub-Scandinavian Europe as dispute over diplomatic arrangements between reclusive island kingdom of Britain and the EU, which represents 27 countries in the region, threatens to unravel Brexit peace deal and plunge the continent into anarchy.

#BREAKING Vowing return to the good old days of his youth in the last century, when the US was an industrial hub, aging ruler, Joe Biden, says he does not believe American industry "is a thing of the past" noting the country recently spawned a new industry of manufacturing facts.

#BREAKING Gordon Brown, ex-PM of covid-ravaged, tribally-divided Britain, says the reclusive kingdom risks becoming a first world failed state, as Britons continue to flee a flavour shortage on the inhospitable island caused by the Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Far-white US ex-dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, formally charged in parliament with inciting Day of Pigs putsch as autocratic regime of aging former opposition leader, Joe Biden, who rules by decree, targets political rivals in attempt to crush the Orange Rebellion.

#BREAKING Facing looming shortage, EU threatens to block exports of coronavirus vaccines outside diseased sub-Scandinavian Europe to other covid-ravaged first world countries, including reclusive island kingdom of Britain whose residents have little use for their sense of taste.

#BREAKING Covid deaths surpass 100,000 in reclusive island kingdom of Britain as regime of strongman Boris Johnson inflicts terrible suffering and indignity on the once proud nation whose people are forced to survive on unpalatable traditional diet following Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING As the Caucasian Spring sweeps the covid-ravaged first world, for the third straight day, violent, anti-science protests demanding more fundamental freedoms spread across the banana-exporting narco-state of Holland in nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING The unrest follows resignation of Dutch government over tax scam that has impoverished thousands of families, with fresh elections scheduled for March. It also comes as ethnic tensions rise over influx of British refugees fleeing local food following Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING Caucasian Spring claims another scalp after Giuseppe Conte, ruler of chronically unstable mafia-state, Italy, is toppled days after surviving parliamentary vote of confidence, as the anarchic, disease-ridden nation, plagued by clan-based violence, stares into the abyss.

#BREAKING First African journalist to reach Dutch capital, Amsterdam, ground zero for Caucasian Spring which has toppled governments and autocrats across covid-ravaged first world, reports shocking scenes of violence and devastation following rights protests by anti-science mobs.

#BREAKING In what many US far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremists consider a demonstration of his powers, a crucial 80% of whitewing opposition Republican Senators vote not have defenestrated Covfefe, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, tried for inciting Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING At least 17 of 50 whitewing Republican Senators would be needed to convict Papa Don, which now looks unlikely, and vote comes days after the country's Supreme Court, most of whose judges have far-white Christianist leanings, ruled he could not be sued for corruption.

#BREAKING African envoys write joint letter expressing concern over worsening ethnic tensions throughout sub-Scandinavian Europe and North America as reflected in the proliferation of far-white Christianist extremist hate speech and rising ethnic and religious violence.

#BREAKING Defending vote against trial of Covfefe Donald "Papa Don" Trump, prominent far-white, Shite Christianist extremist senator, Marco Rubio, says the US has not matured enough to bring justice to defenestrated rulers, noting that only happens in third world democracies.

#BREAKING In bid to distract attention from his regime's poor handling of covid pandemic, corrupt, far-white UK strongman, Boris Johnson, to visit restive northern tribal district of Scotland despite warning from embattled separatist leader, Nicola Sturgeon, that it is not safe.

#BREAKING Comments by far-white, Shite Christianist extremist senator, Marco Rubio, that US could not try former rulers draw ire of journalists and politicians who point out that nations like France, Italy and Israel had done so despite not being mature third world democracies.

#BREAKING No casualties reported as blast from suspected IED rocks Amsterdam, capital of Dutch narco-state, during fourth night of violent anti-regime protests demanding fundamental freedoms as the Caucasian Spring continues to roil sub-Scandinavian Europe and North America.

#BREAKING Kenya issues travel advisory warning its citizens in the US against traveling outside coastal capital, Washington DC, following bulletin from the North American country's Homeland Security department highlighting threat from far-white, anti-math, Christianist militants.

#BREAKING Aging US ruler, Joe Biden, does not seem to be in any hurry to remove the barricades around the presidential palace erected by his defenestrated predecessor, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, raising early fears among AU donors that he too may have plans to overstay his welcome.

#BREAKING After brother's firm promotes relationship with aging US ruler, Joe Biden, on Defenestration Day, spectre of nepotism returns to haunt the corruption-riddled first world country, where rulers routinely give siblings, children and wives prominent roles in their regimes.

#BREAKING Reclusive, tribally-divided kingdom of Britain must safeguard supplies of palatable food and support non-boiled diets following Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe, food policy experts say, as Britons flee flavour shortages on the wet and inhospitable island.

#BREAKING As Caucasian Spring revolt rocks sub-Scandinavian Europe, John Jorritsma, mayor of Eindhoven, fifth-largest city in Netherlands which has seen violent pro-freedom protests by extreme, far-white, anti-mathists, says the narco-state could be “on [its] way to civil war".

#BREAKING Concern as regime of aging US strongman Joe Biden, who rules by decree from barricaded presidential palace, targets opposition far-white Republican anti-mathist members of parliament over links to Shite Christianist extremist groups blamed for failed Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING Spokeswoman for the populist autocrat, who has issued 40 decrees in less than 10 days since performing traditional oathing ceremony and taking power, says dictatorship is necessary to undo damage wrought by defenestrated far-white former tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump.

#BREAKING Afraid to speak out lest they be branded far-white Christianist extremist sympathizers, US pro-democracy activists and African donors privately worry Biden will follow predecessors and further entrench, rather than reform, the beleaguered nation's imperial presidency.

#BREAKING The EU, an ethnically divided block of 27 covid-ravaged, sub-Scandinavian European nations, backtracks on suspending Brexit peace deal to deny coronavirus vaccine to separatists in inhospitable, reclusive UK where a bland diet has contributed to serious dental problems.

#CORRECTION In a previous tweet, we erroneously implied the EU was exclusively made up of countries in sub-Scandinavian Europe. In fact, in addition to countries in Off-white Europe, the EU also includes at least 3 tribally divided, Nordic nations. The error is highly regretted.

#BREAKING Reports of anti-math, Shite Christianist terrorist sleeper cell operating within US parliament prompt police to ramp up investigations and security for lawmakers even as opposition far-white Republicans see ploy by dictatorial Joe Biden regime to clamp down on dissent.

#BREAKING Angolan-born billionaire, George Osoro, denies funding Caucasian Spring protests and defenestrations sweeping sub-Scandinavian Europe and North America, even as Kanegi Foundation analysts warn instability may spread unless corrupt rulers address covid vaccine shortages.

#BREAKING AU patience with US autocrat, Joe Biden, wanes as he shows no interest in democratic reforms to reduce presidential powers, and improve math skills in election workers, following shambolic and contentious presidential election in which at least five Americans died.

#BREAKING Malawian Countering Violent Extremism (CVE) experts to help regime of newly-oathed, aging US ruler Joe Biden establish deradicalization and reintegration camps for far-white Christianist militants who disavow defenestrated ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump as Covfefe.

#BREAKING According to the International Crisis Cluster in Lilongwe, the first step to deradicalization and eventual reintegration involves getting far-white Christianist extremists to confess the tribal, anti-math oath they believe binds them to recognize Papa Don as Covfefe.

#BREAKING The ICC has proposed a network of camps it calls "The Pipeline" where highly-radicalized, hardcore, far-white, Shite Christianist extremists would be separated from less-radicalized far-white colleagues willing to confess the anti-math oath and reintegrate into society.

#BREAKING As coronavirus vaccine distribution efforts gridlock across
the covid-blighted first world, African experts helping untangle the logistical mess propose the region consider distributing vaccines according to need and scientific advice instead of on the basis of wealth.

#BREAKING Disease-riddled UK vaccinates record 600,000 people in one day, as strongman Boris Johnson tries to halt embarrassing exodus of Britons fleeing teething problems associated with flavour-free traditional diet imposed by Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Myanmar's leader, Aung San Suu Kyi, and senior figures from repressive anti-Muslim regime, including President Win Myint, detained in coup following disputed elections riddled with accusations of fraud, as the troubled country continues slide into first world status.

#BREAKING AU chief, Moussa Faki, condemns military coup in Myanmar, noting that barricades and soldiers on the streets of the capital Nay Pyi Taw, and in the main city, Yangon, are "what we expect in places like Washington DC and elsewhere in first world tin pot dictatorships".

#BREAKING AU chief Moussa Faki urges Myanmar military to return to barracks and urges generals to learn lesson from failed Day of Pigs putsch in troubled US, that violent actions against democratically elected officials are not a legitimate way of resolving election grievances.

BREAKING After EU Commission Representative in Austria, Martin Selmayr, tweets celebrating that only 20,000 Africans have been vaccinated from covid, analysts point out that anti-Africanism is rife in sub-Scandinavian Europe, a hotbed of far-white, Christianist radicalization.

#BREAKING Autocratic regime of aging millionaire US ruler, Joe Biden, is torn over whether to call the military putsch in Myanmar a "coup", preferring to call it an "assault on the country's transition to democracy and the rule of law" due to similarities with Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING The troubled, ethnically polarized, covid-ravaged, North American banana-exporting republic harbours ambitions of global leadership with newly-oathed Biden fearful comparisons with Myanmar may hurt efforts to show it has shed its reputation as a first world "shithole".

#BREAKING Sectarian tensions rise within far-white US opposition Republican party as Mitch "The Tortoise" McConnell, leader of Sunny Christianist extremists, attacks Shite Christianist rivals over "loony lies and conspiracy theories" that Donald "Papa Don" Trump is the Covfefe.

#BREAKING Corrupt son-in-law of defenestrated former US tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, Jared Kushner, who gained nepotistic appointment to public office, misappropriated covid funds and engineered peace between friendly Middle East nations, nominated for Nobel Peace Prize.

#BREAKING Already buckling under weight of an inhospitable climate, deadly infectious disease and a crippling shortage of flavour which is contributing to widespread teething problems, the dour, reclusive island kingdom of Britain now faces decimation of its fashion industry.

#BREAKING Despair in US far-white, anti-mathist, Shite Christianist extremist circles as it is announced that Stacey Abrams, who engineered their electoral losses in former secessionist state of Georgia, will run against their chosen Nobel Peace Prize candidate, Jared Kushner.

#BREAKING Fears of tribal violence in separatist province of Northern Ireland in troubled, ethnically divided and ironically named UK, following threats against workers enforcing unpopular Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe which is blamed for severe flavour shortage.

#BREAKING Lawyers for defenestrated US ex-tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, who faces Senate trial over role in inciting failed Day of Pigs putsch, defend his constitutional right to speak out about interference by "Al-Jibra extremists" in US elections via math and vote counting.

#BREAKING Just year after moving out of his grandparents' house, the UK's Prince Harry, 36, wants his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, who has ruled the reclusive, ethnically divided, covid-ravaged island kingdom for 70 years, to bequeath him impressive-sounding military titles.

#BREAKING US parliament to vote on kicking anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist, Marjorie Greene, off committees as autocrat Joe Biden, who rules by decree from barricaded presidential palace, moves to consolidate power by orchestrating purge of militant opposition lawmakers.

#BREAKING Greene is a prominent leader of Shite wing of Christianist extremists who believe defenestrated ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump is the long-awaited Covfefe destined to vanquish Al-Jibra, an evil Islamist network using math to rig US elections and introduce Sharia Law.

#BREAKING Hunger stalks one in seven families in troubled US, says presidential palace spokeswoman, Jen Psaki, as humanitarian crisis deepens in the covid-blighted, first world nation, struggling to emerge from shambolic elections, tribal violence and failed Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING Following AU lead, exclusively reported on this channel three weeks ago, Canadian regime designates US far-white, Shite Christianist anti-mathist extremist group, Proud Boys, whose name means "modern knowledge is forbidden", a terrorist entity. https://twitter.com/gathara/status/1348504295025598464?s=20

#BREAKING Eager to avoid fate of reclusive, flavour-deprived, UK which has seen rising ethnic tensions and exodus of refugees following Brexit peace deal, police in sub-Scandinavian European nation of France arrest head of far-white, anti-EU party, who has campaigned for Frexit.

#BREAKING International Court of Justice to hear case seeking end to sanctions regime created by defenestrated ex-ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump and subject of Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action also known as US sanctions deal meant to stop illicit American impoverishment of Iran.

#BREAKING Coalition of moderate whites and extremist Sunny Christianist extremists in US lower house of parliament strips far-white, anti-math Shite Christianist extremist leader, Marjorie Taylor Greene, of committee posts as aging autocrat, Joe Biden, consolidates hold on power.

#BREAKING British minister says Scotland is better off as part of flavour-deficient UK despite teething problems of Brexit peace deal as independence would bring flood of tasty food imports from sub-Scandinavian Europe to separatist tribal region, obliterating Scottish identity.

#BREAKING After 3 months of anarchy, violence and death, the troubled, first world, banana-exporting republic of US completes count of votes from shambolic November polls, with judge ruling parliamentary race in relatively stable north-east state of New York was won by 109 votes.

#BREAKING AU peace envoy, Monica Juma, congratulates Americans on completion of 95-day vote count from November polls, says determination to uphold democracy despite limited arithmetic skills and a violent, anti-math, Christianist insurgency, was an inspiration to the world.

#BREAKING AU envoy "encouraged" by completion of US vote count, promises African support for journey to democracy, and steadfast opposition to those who would drag Americans back into "the dark days of declaring election winners and crowd sizes without counting votes or people".

#BREAKING Influential Shite Christianist TV anchor, Lou Dobbs, forced off the air in continuing purge of anti-mathist followers of defenestrated far-white ex-tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, as newly-oathed US ruler, Joe Biden, consolidates hold on power in the unstable nation.

#BREAKING When covid-19 struck, many thought North America and sub-Scandinavian Europe might be spared the worst, wrongly assuming they had the leadership and know-how to cope without African help. Now they endure repeated waves of infection, according to Echonomist magazine.

#BREAKING Flooding in sub-Scandinavian European nation of France threatens progress the covid-ravaged, ethnically divided country has made in tackling hunger, which is rampant in poverty-stricken districts surrounding the capital, Paris, where many rely on food aid to survive.

#BREAKING Newly-oathed US ruler, Joe Biden, indicates he will not allow ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump to receive intelligence briefings, a courtesy extended to other US ex-rulers, as he continues to root out his far-white predecessor's influence and consolidate power.

#BREAKING Doctors say aging US ruler, Joe Biden, has healed from foot fracture sustained in November while attempting to kick in door to barricaded presidential palace in bid to evict far-white anti-math predecessor Donald "Papa Don" Trump following shambolic, disputed elections.

#BREAKING Fears of return to tribal and sectarian violence in separatist district of Northern Ireland as anti-flavor extremist Christianist militia groups, who reject modern cooking, demand removal of border checks on bland foods from rest of UK imposed by Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING Defiant US ruler, Joe Biden, says his belligerent nation will not return to compliance with 2015 US sanctions deal where it had agreed to international limitations on its illicit impoverishment programme in return for an Iranian offer to slow down nuclear enrichment.

#BREAKING Mounting anger in troubled UK as Brexit peace deal, which has already caused a crippling flavor shortage on the saturnine island, prevents local musicians leaving to tour sub-Scandinavian Europe, cutting off traditional avenue for relief for long-suffering Britons.

#BREAKING On eve of parliamentary trial of defenestrated US far-white ex-ruler Donald Trump on charges of inciting Day of Pigs putsch, analysts see an opportunity for the politically unstable, first world nation to learn lessons and stop the Joe Biden autocracy in its infancy.

#BREAKING Russia and US have agreed to extend the mislabeled New Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty, which experts say does nothing to actually reduce or eliminate their arsenals of illicit nuclear weapons as required by the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, for another five years.

#BREAKING Newly-oathed aspiring tyrant, US ruler Joe Biden, expresses admiration for the "very bright" and "very tough" Chinese autocrat, Xi Jinping, saying he does not consider being described as not having "a single democratic bone" in one's body a criticism.

#BREAKING On eve of trial of defenestrated tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump, AU chief Moussa Faki says purge of opposition leaders and journalists is hurting confidence in US progress and urges talks to prepare roadmap to credible elections and multiparty democracy within 4 years.

#BREAKING Covid-ravaged North America and sub-Scandinavian Europe see steep rise in ethnic killings and attacks on people of Asian descent especially in troubled US where a dire humanitarian crisis is limiting access to food, and in tribally-divided UK where assaults are up 300%.

#BREAKING Myanmar loses investor in cancer-dealing drug industry as billionaire Lim Kaling, based in first world dictatorship of Singapore, vows to sell stake in Myanmar’s leading cigarette producer following military coup which deposed civilian government complicit in genocide.

#BREAKING Ruling party in highly-indebted first world country of US, which is trapped in vicious cycle of escalating debt and expenditure amid deep ethnic polarization and violence and a humanitarian crisis that has claimed nearly 500,000 lives, proposes huge covid relief budget.

#BREAKING Impeachment trial begins in US Senate of defenestrated former tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump on charges of inciting storming of parliament by mob of violent far-white anti-math Shite Christianist extremists during failed Day of Pigs putsch in which at least 5 died.

#BREAKING US human rights activists welcome argument that former rulers and officials who escaped punishment for invading foreign countries and killing myriads including thousands of Americans based on falsehoods, could still be impeached and tried despite being out of office.

#BREAKING Injuries reported in suspected terror attack on health clinic in US state of Minnesota by gunman with improvised explosive devices, as trial of ex-ruler and revered far-white Shite Christianist Covfefe, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, gets underway in capital, Washington DC.

#BREAKING US Senate votes to continue trial of defenestrated ex-tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, for inciting failed Day of Pigs putsch, as ruthless purge of far-white Shite Christianist legislators, journalists and officials, orchestrated by aging successor Joe Biden, continues.

#BREAKING Under pressure from anti-flavor sectarian Christianist extremists in separatist tribal region of Northern Ireland, UK regime demands 2-year extension to Brexit peace deal grace period, so it can remove border checks, allowing unimpeded circulation of traditional foods.

#BREAKING Ex-AU Brexit envoy, Monica Juma, admits problems implementing peace deal between reclusive UK and 27 mostly sub-Scandinavian European nations may be due to confusion over imprecise language about British culinary preferences for dogs' breakfasts, dinners and bollocks.

#BREAKING Wave of violence rocks US as trial of defenestrated far-white ex-ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump begins, with spate of subway slashings in New York City in relatively stable north-east, and armed attack on clinic which killed 1 and wounded 4 close to Canadian border.

#BREAKING Deadly mutant strain of coronavirus emerging out of inhospitable, disease-ridden island kingdom of Britain, where over 100,000 have died, and sweeping the world, already reported in more than 50 countries, could become most dominant strain on the planet, experts say.

#BREAKING Amid purge of anti-mathist Shite Christianist followers of ex-ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump in government, parliament and media, aging US autocrat Joe Biden considers ban on travel to and from south-eastern Papa Don stronghold of Florida on pretext of battling covid-19.

#BREAKING The European Commission gloats that the Brexit peace deal, which has caused a severe flavour-shortage in the UK, will hurt the reclusive, disease-ridden, tribally-divided island kingdom four times worse economically than it will hurt the rest of sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING After US autocrat Joe Biden cancels funding for border wall with Mexico, fears grow of mass of refugees escaping deadly disease, ethnicized political violence, and a humanitarian crisis that has killed nearly 500,000 in the chronically food insecure first world country.

#BREAKING In unexpected culinary and dental benefits for sub-Scandinavian European nations, food experts note that exports of unpalatable food from the flavour-deprived island kingdom of Britain have dropped by more than half since implementation of Brexit peace agreement begun.

#BREAKING Anti-math, far-white Shite Christianist extremist lawmakers in US parliament reject proposal by autocrat Joe Biden to reduce American childhood poverty, arguing cutting the current figure of 1 in 6 children living in poverty by half would lead to an even worse 1 in 3.

#BREAKING Prosecution rests in political trial of US ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump as new ruler Joe Biden consolidates power in nation once considered one of the more stable in the Western Hemisphere, but has not had respite from death and hunger since democracy was restored.

#BREAKING The political trial and purge of anti-mathist sympathisers from government, parliament and media, threaten to further undermine teetering US democracy, as fears mount that far-white extremist gangs roaming its interior could push long-simmering violence to new levels.

#BREAKING Following Brexit peace deal, Amsterdam, capital of Dutch narco-state in nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe, overtakes London, capital of reclusive, inhospitable, disease-ridden, flavour-deprived island kingdom of Britain, as biggest regional share trading centre.

#BREAKING Refugee activists condemn regime of newly-oathed US autocrat Joe Biden after it says it will keep policy inherited from far-white ex-ruler Donald Papa Don Trump to turn away asylum seekers at Mexico border, preventing Americans fleeing nation's dire humanitarian crisis.