Read on Twitter
Ok so I guess I’ll do this now https://twitter.com/melannophleg/status/1350946836736073736
I think it’s safe to say that people do not like to feel pain or hurt and will try to avoid it all costs (unless ofc you’re a sadist or a masochist in which case that’s a different issue...). But people do not like pain. And we will try to avoid it.
When I was little I read A Story of a Soul by St. Therese and it’s a great read but as a 13 year old, the most I got from the book was: suffering is good and it’s okay if people hurt you. So I never really spoke up or said anything to defend myself.
But later in life I realized I really didn’t like it when people hurt me so I decided to fight back a little. But when I did fight back sometimes that was quite ugly as well. Perhaps it was my notion of defending myself. Perhaps it was years of repressing hurt.
There is a balance that one can achieve in defending oneself without biting back. Standing up for yourself in a way. But what happens when you’re in a position where you can neither defend yourself nor bite back? Biting back is not Christian but when it comes to forgiveness
defending yourself is not something to be considered. I suppose one way of forgiveness would be to try and forget the hurt that one has caused to you. But in trying to forget, bitterness festers and resentment builds up. It is hard to see the person who needs forgiveness as
Someone other than your enemy. Who has wronged you. Who has hurt you. What do you do? You could defend yourself in a way. Put up walls. Detach yourself. Etc. these are all ways and they can be effective. But how long can you hold the walls up?
When someone feels personally wronged the first instinct is to fight back. It is natural. But there comes a point when someone has spent enough energy on fighting back or forgetting or trying to defend. At that point what do you do?
Christian charity calls for us to seek the wellbeing and good of our brothers and sisters always. I’m not talking about charity in correcting those who are in sin but rather charity towards those who have wronged you and who have hurt you.
There is a fine balance that one can achieve in standing up for oneself and realizing that not all battles are meant to be fought, especially when the ultimate battle that must be fought in forgiving someone is loving someone the way God loves them. Truly.
To love someone in the way God loves, I believe, is to not pick qualities that they have. One cannot say, “He/she does this, this, and this and this makes them a good person,” because God loves one despite of sin and such. Someone being nice does not
Make someone worthy of love. And it is very hard at times to see someone as worthy of love, especially when we have been wronged. But even Christ said, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Forgiveness and charity go hand in hand. In forgiving one, we wish for their good will and well being, even if they do not express the same towards us. The only battle to win is a battle towards Heaven where we all may rejoice together. And to forgive someone
Is to ultimately see them as God sees them. As His child. One made in His image and likeness.
So it is okay to feel pain. It is okay to feel hurt in situations like these. Its unavoidable at times and it’s only natural. But pray for charity towards brethren always. And strive for true agape that we may one day see our Father joyfully.
