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I wish ya’ll would stop projecting “Daddy Issues” onto women who had absent or inadequate fathers. The inadequacy of the father doesn’t define the value of a woman. It’s just that HIS inadequacy. Patriarchy teaches us that a woman’s value is in her access to men. That’s untrue.
Parents are essential and those of us who grew up without a particular level of care must learn that ourselves and through community, but y’all love to drag women with inadequate “father figures” through the mud like they crazy because they were neglected.
Oftentimes we create discord between women that centers men thus removing the agency of every woman involved it’s in our languaging of things.. women go “you can’t treat me like that! I would never accept that kind of treatment my Daddy will kill you all etc.”
And I’m like father or no father you deserve respect. Some of us got Daddies but they don’t parent. Some of y’all was so happy to have a Daddy in the house even if he wasn’t shit. Access to Men = power/status under patriarchy. And y’all weaponize it.
I’m happy the conversation is opening up around patriarchy because on some real talk the presence of a man is oftentimes so highly valued that it takes precedence over whether he really contributed to you or ya mama. And that’s the badge of honor you wear! “I got a daddy!”
And I be like that’s the badge of honor?! He was AROUND?! That’s ALL?! A lot more of y’all were raised by single mamas and auntie friends than we want to admit or discuss.
If you got two GOOD PARENTS regardless of gender know that you are blessed. Some folks have one, some folks have none. If you didn’t have parents or the relationship is complicated YOU are loved and valued too. Their inadequacy isn’t your fault.
Y’all RTing!!! Yay let’s talk about it! I’m SaTar’Ra I make music & conjure 
my store w spiritual products is restocked http://www.SaTarRa.com/merch
my store w spiritual products is restocked http://www.SaTarRa.com/merch
Also we never EVER EVER talk about how men who are absent fathers oftentimes have MOTHER ISSUES! we just DEMONIZE the mother. No discussion of how boy children are traumatized by neglect too! Or those presumed male at birth/in childhood.
It’s NEGLECT HERE YALL. Neglected people struggle. That’s all. 
and everyone deserves hugs and patriarchy cuts us all off from softness but especially men and makes them neglectful and rewards self interest and violence against femmes. that’s all. Never the babies fault.
and everyone deserves hugs and patriarchy cuts us all off from softness but especially men and makes them neglectful and rewards self interest and violence against femmes. that’s all. Never the babies fault.
